Page 29 of You Loved Me Once

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After Bryce left me standing there, I couldn’t think straight, so I grabbed my coat and rushed out.

I drop my head back and release a deep sigh. I’m a fool. This is the last place I should be.

The door opens. “Ren?” Westin’s voice is full of concern.

“Hey,” I give my best attempt at a smile.

“Why are you standing out here?” He laughs while leaning against the doorjamb.

Good question.Because I was debating how to go home without looking like an idiot.“Just got here,” I lie. I’ve been standing here for more than ten minutes.

“Okay, you coming inside or do you need to go get some sleep?” Wes asks.

He knows me well enough to give me the out. How sad is that? I’m so fucked up in the head that I require loopholes in every part of my relationships. I need some serious therapy.

“No, I’m coming in.” I release a nervous laugh. “I’m so beat, I can’t think straight.”

Westin extends his arm as I enter the apartment. His high-rise building has a completely different feel than mine. Mine is an older building, where Westin’s is new and very industrial. The ductwork hangs from the ceiling, the floors are concrete and the counter is stainless steel.

Like Westin’s exposed brick walls, I’m raw and jaded, and the mortar that holds me together is chipping.

His arms wrap around me from behind, and I sigh. Being held right now is what I need. I close my eyes and lean my head back on his shoulder. When we’re alone, I can let my walls down just a little. It’s when we step outside the cocoon that they go back up.

“I like when you’re this way,” Westin’s deep voice is low against my ear.

“What way?”

His lips touch my neck and I shiver. “Unguarded.”

It’s easy when you’re in a bubble to pretend the world outside is a farce. I don’t have to be anything but me when we’re alone. Westin doesn’t care because our expectations are just this. When we’re together, we can give what we want to each other, and when we’re apart, we don’t have to do anything.

“I had a long day. I need us tonight.”

I turn, looking into his beautiful green eyes, and touch his cheek.

“First we eat,” Westin demands. “Then you can have all theusyou want.”

Westin kisses my lips before releasing me. He heads into the kitchen that never gets used, except to heat up pizza or some other kind of takeout, and smiles.

“Are you going to keep me in suspense?” he asks.

Oh, God, did he hear about my breakdown in the bathroom? Does it say on my forehead: Hot mess. Ex-fiancé is back in town.

“About?”

He shakes his head and then places the plate in front of me. “Your day...”

“Oh.” I shrug. “It was...hard.”

That’s the understatement of the year.

Westin grabs his pizza and watches me. I’ve never held back on this stuff with him. We both share our days freely, but I don’t know that I should. If he finds out about Bryce’s wife, I don’t know what he’ll say. Or maybe I do, and that’s why I haven’t said a word.

“Ren, what’s going on?” he pushes.

Fuck. I’m doing a really bad job at keeping my feelings off my face. I need to tell him something.

“I had to remove a patient from the trial,” I explain. Lindsay was a difficult part, so I start there.