Page 92 of You Loved Me Once
Westin runs his hands down his face and nods. “Fine, I’ll be here with you the entire time.”
I’m grateful he is. Westin is holding me up because I’m crumbling, but it’s nothing compared to the break I’m about to cause.
When we get to the door, I take a deep breath, and push through. If I pause, I’ll never walk forward because there’s never a right time to tell a family you lost their loved one.
Bryce gets to his feet as soon as he sees me. I pull my cap off and move toward him. His gaze moves to Westin, back to me, and I watch the hope and happiness drain from his face.
I stand in front of him, and I can’t speak. Words fail me as I see him start to break. My chest grows tight and my limbs become ice cold. I have to say something, I know I do, but there’s nothing to say to help him. Bryce shakes his head as tears start to form, and he looks to me to stop them, but I can’t. He knows, and instead of me saying the words, I just freeze.
“Mr. Peyton,” Westin starts. “There was a complication during the surgery...”
“No, no, no,” Bryce chants and then sinks to the ground. “Please, no.”
The look in his eyes tears me in two. He’s desperate for me to refute the words Westin spoke.
“Every effort was made,” Westin says, but Bryce’s cry stops him.
“No! Not her! God, no.”
The agony in his voice breaks me in two. “Her heart,” I croak. “I was able to stop the bleed, but as we were finishing,” my voice is filled with remorse, and I pray he hears it. “When we...she suffered what we believe was a heart attack. I’m so sorry.”
“No,” he says again. “Ren, tell me this isn’t true. Please. Please tell me she’s okay.”
I squat, wishing more than anything it was a lie. My lip trembles and I hold onto the very last shred of strength I have, knowing that if I break down, I won’t get back up. “I wish I could. I’m sorry. I tried everything. I wouldn’t give up, but I couldn’t bring her back. I’m so, so sorry.”
“Mr. Peyton.” Westin crouches down and helps him into the chair. “We’re very sorry for your loss.”
We both flank him in the chairs as he starts to cry.
“Is there anyone we can call?” Westin asks.
He shakes his head, wipes his nose, and gets to his feet. “No, I think you’ve done enough.”
Both Wes and I stand as Bryce marches out the door without another word.
I’ve broken him.
Westin places his hand on my back and guides me back to the locker room. I sit on the bench, staring at the floor, wondering how my day went so out of control. Another part of me worries what will happen now.
The idea of my career being over was sort of a possibility, but now it’s not so abstract. There will be an autopsy, I’ll go before the board, and there’s the possibility of a lawsuit.
Fuck.
I’m completely screwed. If they look into this, they’ll find the switch. How could I be so stupid?
Another tear falls and I turn my head to hide it.
“You should go get cleaned up and go home,” Westin says after a few seconds pass.
“No,” I refute.
“I’m not asking you. I’m telling you to go home, don’t talk to anyone, and I’ll be there when I can.”
I look up at Westin and there’s an edge to his words that cause a shiver to run up my spine. “Wes?”
“Listen to me on this,” he says as he sits beside me. “You’re a mess and you can’t see patients, but you also need to get your head straight before you talk to anyone, understand?”
Always protecting me.
