Page 51 of You Loved Me Once
He shakes his head, worry filled in his blue eyes. “Until my last breath.”
“Until mine.”
“Hello? Dr. Adams?” Allison asks, forcing the memory out of my head.
“Sorry, we’re ready to start, are you ready?” I ask.
Allison studies me warily, and I use every muscle in my body to keep from looking at Bryce. I never want him to see how much those words affected me. Allison needs me to be her doctor right now.
She closes her eyes and then when she looks at me, I see the answer. “I want to be in this trial. I want my damn life back. So yes, the only hope I have is you.”
I nod once, pulling myself together and refusing to look at Bryce. “I’ll have your medication started. You’ll be inpatient for three days while we deliver the chemo, then you’ll come in for testing and other things before the next round,” I explain very matter-of-factly.
“I re-remember.”
I hear the fear in her voice, and even though this woman has everything I wanted, it’s also my job to give her comfort. I take a step toward her, still refusing to even glance at Bryce, and touch her arm. “I know it’s scary and a lot to think about, but know that I’m going to do whatever I can to fight this with you. You have a team of doctors that believe in this trial.” I smile and she returns my smile with her own.
“Thank you.” She pauses. “For everything.”
The meaning is clear. It’s not just about the trial, but for fighting for her because we both know what happens if she didn’t get to try.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes to get you set up,” I promise.
With strength I didn’t know I had, I exit the room without looking at him. My father was right, I’m powerless to him and that’s going to be my downfall.
As I stand in the hallway, I clench my fists, inhale, and will myself not to lose my mind. He can’t make me weak here. When I’m in this hospital, I refuse to be anything but at the top of my game. People need me to be the one who controls things, and being messed up won’t benefit them. Above everything that matters in my life, being a doctor is what I cling to. I won’t allow Bryce to set me back.
After a few seconds, I regain my sense of self, and head to the lab where I’ll finally find out who the two doctors assigned to track the trial are. They’ll ensure all my documentation is in order and be able to discuss anything that might arise. As much as I always thought it was stupid, after serving as one of the advisors for a colleague, I realized it’s actually a great policy. Well, providing I don’t get some asshole.
I open the door excited, but my excitement evaporates when I see Westin standing there, holding an envelope, talking to another doctor.
“Yes, the patients are given a number,” he explains to Dr. Wells. “Dr. Adams will then correlate the number. We need to make sure there are no discrepancies before we sign off at the end.”
Dr. Wells looks over the file. “This all looks great.”
No. He can’t be an advisor and auditor on this. He can’t, because that would just be the biggest cosmic joke ever. He’ll have to come and meet patients, oversee everything I do, and I’ll have to check in with him. This can’t be happening to me.
“Wes?”
“Hey,” he smiles. “I was just looking over your paperwork.”
“For?”
He scratches the back of his head, which is his nervous tell. “I’m one of the advisors on the team.”
And yet, it seems this is very much happening.
I’m not sure why the hospital would sign off on this. He and I are romantically involved and even though we keep it quiet, people know. It’s sure to be viewed as a conflict by someone. Not only that, why the hell would he want to do this? After everything last night, this is a huge mistake. Maybe I can get him to hand it over to another doctor, one who doesn’t know me quite so...intimately.
“Can we talk for a minute?” I ask and jerk my head to the side.
My nerves can’t take much more of this. I feel as though I’m coming apart at the seams. Nothing has gone right since Bryce Peyton showed up in town.
I release a deep breath from my nose when we reach the hallway. “How?” I ask quickly.
“I didn’t—”
“You didn’t think this was important to tell me? You didn’t think I should have even been given the slightest heads-up? Or do you not think this is a very, very bad idea, Westin?” I rub my forehead. “All night you had to mention it and not a word!”
