Page 38 of You Loved Me Once
I nod, unsure what to say because I’m still not ready to share my truths. “Thank you, Dad. For everything.”
“Anytime. You know I’m here.”
“I do.”
“Good, drive safe. I’ll be expecting you before another six months go by.” He gives a pointed look. “And be careful, Ren.”
I grip the wheel a little tighter, knowing he’s not talking about the drive home.
Chapter 11
Ipark my car in the underground garage and lean my head against the seat rest. The things I thought were working in my life are now riddled with flaws.
My brother is clearly not taking care of my father.
There’s still a piece of me that loves Bryce even though I’ve deluded myself into believing there wasn’t. Just the thought of him makes my heart race, my palms sweat, and I wonder what it all could’ve been like if I had gone to Penn State. Everything would’ve been different. We could’ve been happy, but our lives went in opposite directions and now I’m treating his wife because I have no choice unless I want to lose my trial or another candidate applies, is accepted, and gets up to Chicago by today. After talking to my father, I know I’m in over my head.
And then there’s Wes, none of this is fair to him. I care about him, I want to want a future with him, but Bryce being back...complicates things.
It’s not simply raining on my parade, it’s an entire ecosystem failure.
Julie: Want to go out tonight? I’m off and I need vodka.
Vodka sounds like a great idea.
Me: Yes. Where?
Julie: How about we go to Rich’s pub? Low-key and you know we can get a sucker to buy us drinks.
Me: Perfect.
I have two missed calls from Westin, but I don’t feel like talking to him. Right now, I want some space from my life. Westin, Bryce, Allison, the trial, my worthless brother, and everything else can disappear for a night. Monday starts the actual distribution of the chemo, and I decide I deserve a weekend for just me.
The next few hours pass with a text from Westin that goes unanswered, and I don’t even have the energy to give a shit right now. The last thing I need is to say something stupid and really screw up things. Usually on our weekends off, we spend them together, but there’s nothing left inside of me to pretend today.
I walk down to Rich’s, needing the atmosphere that always grounds me. It’s a hole in the wall place, but the bartender is generous with the alcohol, and it’s cheap. When you’re a broke med student, cheap is your favorite word. But it’s become so much more than a dive bar. It’s my favorite place for advice I don’t ask for, and it has the best burgers in Chicago.
“Hey!” Julie smiles and pulls me in for a hug. “You look like you need a drink.”
“I do.”
She smirks. “Good. Let’s get drunk and you can tell me all your problems.”
There’s not a chance of that, but the drunk part sounds good.
We hook arms and enter.
“Trouble one and two are here,” Rich, the owner, yells as he slaps the bar top.
“What a welcome,” Julie laughs. “I knew you missed us.”
Rich comes around, hugs us both and then wipes two barstools. “Sit, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you.”
Rich is a character. He’s probably pushing seventy now, but you’d never know it from the way he moves around. He and his wife bought this place when they were in their twenties and have survived through it all. Each patron that walks in becomes family, and he loves his family.
It’s what keeps those who come through the doors returning over and over again.
“So, what’s new with my girls?” Rich asks.
