Page 14 of You Loved Me Once
I don’t know, but a part of me is pissed that Julie made me think about this now.
“I have to go,” I say tersely. Today isn’t the right time to think about this shit. I’m not ready and I have other things to focus on.
Damn her.
Julie smirks. “Love you too.”
Chapter 4
Ihead down the hallway, mentally preparing for the board meeting. We need to go over everything, ensure that I’m prepared and the hospital isn’t at risk. Even though this isn’t the first phase, they have to protect their asses.
As I make my way down the corridor, I smile and nod as I pass some of the heads of the departments. They will each grill me, going over each possible outcome and how I plan to handle them all.
When I get to the door, Dr. Pascoe, the president of the hospital, stands with a warm smile.
"Dr. Adams, it’s nice to see you,” he says.
"It’s great seeing you, as well. How’s Monica?” I ask. Dr. Pascoe and I are in a unique relationship. His wife, Monica, was my patient. She was diagnosed with cervical cancer three years ago and has been in remission for six months. To say that he likes me is an understatement.
“She’s doing well, wants me to insist that you come by for the Fourth of July barbeque.”
Well, that would be breaking rule number one, no friendships with patients.
It’s better for them and much better for me.
“I wish I could . . .”
“But you won’t,” he finishes.
“You understand, don’t you?” I ask.
Dr. Pascoe touches my shoulder. “I do, I’ll let her down gently. Make her think it’s a hospital rule or something.” He gives me a wink.
He’s a great administrator. I like him for personal reasons, but also because he puts the patients’ needs first. The amount of red tape he sees in his job can be intimidating, but Dr. Pascoe ensures there are minimal hurdles when it comes to saving a life. He also treats each doctor who works for him as an equal. It’s nice not feeling looked down upon.
“Thank you.”
“Of course. You know that today is mainly a formality, right?”
“Nothing is ever that simple,” I counter, because I know full well they can pull the plug if I say something they don’t like.
“This is true,” he chuckles. “What time do your patients arrive?”
“I actually have one here now. She wasn’t feeling well, from what I’m told. As soon as we wrap up here, I’ll head to her room.”
He nods. “You didn’t see her beforehand?”
My answer could make me look either responsible or uncaring. “I didn’t. I didn’t want to see her until I was fully green-lighted. If something were to happen in this meeting that pulled the trial, I didn’t want to have given her misinformation.”
I’d rather go with my best foot forward. Which I will, after I know I’m approved completely.
“Makes sense. Shall we?” He motions forward.
We enter the boardroom and my colleagues start to trickle in. I stand with my hands resting on the cool leather seat, trying to keep my heart rate steady. Public speaking isn’t my thing, and it’s definitely harder in front of a firing squad.
I’ve had to do this five times, whenever I’ve lost a patient in surgery, and each time was equally horrific. Not only was I broken over knowing I’d lost someone, but then to have to recount each moment, decision, and error in front of my peers, have my decisions picked apart. . . it’s unimaginable.
A few of the doctors smile their encouragement, having been where I’m standing now, and I focus on breathing. All the chairs but one are filled, and Dr. Pascoe clears his voice. “I’d like to begin since Dr. Adams already has a patient waiting.”
