Page 98 of Could Have Been Us
“We have to remember that this is temporary. No matter how special, beautiful, and wonderful that little girl is, she’s not ours. She’s Samuel’s daughter, Stella. We have to hold on to that. Yes, we made her, but we aren’t her parents. You’re not her mother, and I’m not her father. Not in the way that matters. We have no legal rights once this thirty-day period is over.”
She nods, a fresh wave of tears falling. “I know, but . . . when I look at her. I see you. I see us, and I see . . .”
A family. One that we’re not, and it’s going to absolutely destroy her when Samuel returns and wants back the little girl he gave to us for safe keeping.
“Stella, you can’t go down that road.”
She nods, wiping at her cheeks. “It’s going to be hard.”
“That’s an understatement, but we have to keep telling ourselves the truth. This isn’t a situation where we come out without scars.”
Stella exhales and then looks away. “I know a lot about scars.”
“As do I. The wounds heal, but the reminder is there.”
I think about the burn marks on my legs from the fire I was in when I was a kid. While I’ve learned to almost overlook them, some days, I can’t. I remember my mother’s screams. The way my father called out for her over and over.
The heat, the smell of things burning around me, and the way I couldn’t talk for days after because of how hard I’d yelled that night are as fresh in my mind as they were the day it happened.
The scars of that night are always with me. The woman beside me became my light in the darkness that was consuming me. Stella’s eyes, the kindness and friendship that was always there.
She saved me.
She has always saved me, and I gave her wounds.
And it looks like she’ll once again be hurt because of me.
Chapter 30
Stella
Iroll over, feeling like my eyes are sewn shut from the amount of crying I’ve done. With great effort, I open them and see Jack is already up.
Last night, we held on to each other for hours, just letting the silence fill the air. Words could do nothing to make this any better.
I push myself up and look at the clock, it’s still early.
After I fix myself up a little, I head out to see Jack and Kinsley at the kitchen counter. He’s drinking a cup of coffee, and she’s eating toast.
“Good morning,” I say, pasting on a smile.
“Good morning,” they both reply.
I walk toward Kinsley. “Did everyone sleep okay?”
Kinsley nods. “I think so.”
“Kinsley was just telling me about her math club.” Jack was in math club. The hottest guy in school was the biggest geek. It was poetic in some ways.
In my desperation to make him see me as more than Grayson’s annoying little sister, I tried to join. I was terrible. Seriously, I couldn’t add without using my fingers, and there I was, trying to fit in with Jack who could solve complex equations in his head. It was pathetic.
He grins as though he can read my thoughts.
Kinsley’s eyes jump between us. “What?”
Jack chuckles. “I’m remembering this girl who joined math club when I was in high school. She was pretty, funny, smart, and very transparent.”
I groan and look at Kinsley. “It was me. The girl was me.”
