Page 94 of Could Have Been Us
“I know, but I hate that she feels alone right now.”
Jack looks around, seeming lost. “We just have to do what we can. We also have to talk to your family.”
I step toward him, and he wraps his arms around me. “I didn’t ever want to do this.”
“I know.”
“I’m not ready for them to know.”
Jack kisses the top of my head. “It’s time we deal with it. Kinsley has been a secret hanging over both our heads for a long time.”
“Grayson . . . he’s going to be so angry.”
I’m not ready for his ire. Not just because Jack and I lied, I can handle that part of his anger, but because I’m afraid he will see me in the same light he sees Yvonne. A woman who walked away from her child. It’s what I did. Regardless of my reasons or my age, I let her go for someone else to raise.
Jack lifts my chin so our eyes meet. “We did what we thought we had to. If he hurts you or says anything . . .”
“He’s your best friend.”
“And you’re the woman I love.” The statement says more than he’ll ever know. “I won’t let anyone say something to hurt you. That much I can promise.”
A tear falls, and my heart both hurts and is full at the same time. I know my brothers will be upset. I know they’ll make assumptions. But, when they hear that my father was part of the reason we gave her up, the anger will shift. They’ll just never understand what it was like for Jack and me.
They can’t begin to know the guilt, heartache, and pain we’ve struggled with all these years.
Still, Jack is right about my not being able to avoid telling them. “I’ll call them,” I say.
“Why don’t we do it now? She’s in her room, so we can go outside to talk to them.”
I lean on Jack, taking whatever strength he’s lending me and hoping I can make it through this.
The first person I want to tell is Oliver.
The two of us walk outside to the covered porch, and with a shaky breath, I hit the call button.
“Hey, Stell, we’re out of milk. Are you able to get some from Jack’s house?”
“Ollie, we . . . we have to talk.”
“What’s wrong?” His voice instantly shifts. “Are you okay? Are you crying?”
My brother knows me too well. “I’m okay, and yes, I’m crying, but I need you to listen and let me get through this, can you do that?”
Jack wraps his arm around my shoulders, holding me tight.
“I can try,” Oliver says, which is the best I can hope for.
I explain it all. The night with Jack when I was a kid. The day we found out I was pregnant. The pregnancy, our father’s ultimatum, going to stay with our grandmother, and the birth. I talk about Kinsley, and what that was like for us to give her up. Through it all, he’s silent. Telling Oliver first was the right move. He’s my twin. He knows my heart and how difficult this is for me.
When I’m finished, and the tears are like rivers, Oliver finally speaks.
“Whatever you need from me, I’ll do it,” he says, and his voice breaks at the end.
I cry harder as Jack holds me to his chest, and I feel like maybe I’ll be okay.
Maybe.
* * *
