Page 44 of Could Have Been Us
I turn my head, looking into the brown eyes that mirror mine. “You haven’t.”
“Because I know better than to talk boys with you.”
I laugh softly. “I did itonetime.”
“And it was enough to scar me for life. Who wants to answer their sister’s questions about cocks and what they do?” He shudders.
“You told me to ask you!”
“Ilied!”
“Four brothers, and I got stuck with the worst as my twin.”
Oliver shrugs. “I may be an ass, but I’m not in love with our older brother’s best friend.”
There’s more, Ollie, ask me.
I look into his eyes, begging him to please give me someone to unburden myself to. If there’s anyone, it can be him. Oliver would keep my secret. He has to know I have one. He had to feel the pain I was in twelve years ago.
“Oliver . . .”
Oliver gives me a sad smile. “Don’t, Stella. Don’t open a box you can’t close.”
A tear falls down my cheek. It’s clear he is asking me not to force him to lie too.
If he doesn’t know, he never has to betray our brothers.
For him, I will continue to harbor this alone, drowning in the sea of grief and sadness.
I lean in, kissing his cheek. “I won’t. You’re a good-ish brother.”
The pain fills my chest. I hate that I still have to keep the secret, but I understand it at the same time.
“I could’ve done without the ish.”
“I could do without a lot of things.”
He nudges me softly. “Well, just think of all the fun we’ll have living together.”
I groan and lay my head back on his shoulder. “Fun. That’s a word.”
And definitely not the word I would use, but then nothing has been fun for a long time.
* * *
“Are you excited?” I ask Jessica as we look through the rack of wedding gowns.
“Of course I am. I love your brother.”
I smile. “I do too. I just can’t believe you’re getting married in a week.”
Her hand moves to her stomach almost instinctually. “I want this to be as easy for Amelia as possible. I figure if we get married first, then we have some time to settle in before the baby comes. There’s also no point in waiting, we’ve done enough of that.”
“Yeah, you guys deserve to be happy.”
Jess pushes a dress and looks at me. “What about you, Stella?”
“What about me?”
