Page 153 of Could Have Been Us
“Worried about what?” I ask.
“That he’s not really okay, and . . . that I’ll have to choose.”
“Kinsley, you don’t have to choose anything, sweetheart. Jack and I, well, we . . . we’re your biological parents, but Samuel is your dad. We aren’t trying to force anyone’s hand.”
She worries her bottom lip. “But I want to talk to you. I wanted to call, and I was so scared.”
“Oh, honey, you don’t have to be scared. Jack and I will talk with your dad, and we’ll figure it out. We all want what’s best for you. If Samuel didn’t want to be here, he wouldn’t have come. So, whatever you’re afraid of isn’t worth getting worked up over.”
She wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me tightly while I hug her back. I fight the tears because my emotions are just a damn mess, but really, I’m so damn happy right now. I have everything, and I don’t know how it’s real.
I keep waiting for the dream to stop and to wake up on that couch, hungover and hateful. If this is a dream, though, I’m going to stay here as long as I can.
Kinsley pulls back, wiping at her eyes. “Thank you, Stella.”
“There’s nothing we won’t do for you. All three of us, and your mom too. She would’ve loved this, you know?”
“You think?”
I nod. “Misty was always open with us. She could’ve stopped writing me, sending photos, but she didn’t.”
“My mom was the best person I knew.”
“She was one of the best people I knew too.”
“If she was here, it would be easier for my dad,” Kinsley says, looking back toward the porch. Jack is standing at the grill, a wide smile on his beautiful face as he and Samuel talk.
If only this could be our lives.
The three of us being able to help Kinsley through the rough road she’s on.
I hope we can find a middle ground because the dead end is not an option.
“Time sometimes is what we all need. I loved Jack for a long time before we got our chance. I used to wish that things could be different. That he’d just love me because I was here and was so desperate for him. In my heart, I couldn’t understand why we couldn’t be together, but it wasn’t our time. We needed to wait, grow up, be ready to love each other the way we do now. Your dad needs time. He has to figure out what life is like without your mom, and that’s something that’s incredibly hard. As for all of us, we have to allow for things to settle down.”
She looks up at me. “If I never met you, it wouldn’t be a thing.”
I laugh once. “I get that. Before I knew how amazing you were, it was easier to watch you grow up in pictures. Now, I don’t know how to go back to it, but if it’s what’s best for you, Kinsley, it’s what I’ll do.”
“It’s hard because I loved my mom, but now you’re also my mother.”
My chest aches with wishing and wanting to be that for her. I love her. It doesn’t matter that I missed her first words or steps. All those things that I wasn’t there for are Misty’s, but I want to be there going forward. I want to hold her when a boy crushes her heart, help her find her prom dress, and be the mother she’ll need in the next phase of her life.
I don’t say it, though. I don’t know what role I’ll get to play because it’s not my choice, it’s Samuel’s.
We don’t have visitation or contact unless it’s in the best interests of the child. One thing I do know is not in her best interests is a lawsuit to try to prove otherwise.
“I don’t want it to be hard for you,” I tell her. “Just . . . let’s give this time and let everyone talk, maybe we’ll find a way.”
“Maybe.”
I pull her to me. “We’ll work it out, Kinsley. I swear.”
* * *
“Surprised?” Jack asks as we’re driving back to my place.
“That you kicked my brother out again or that you lied that you were going to be in the woods?”
