Page 142 of Could Have Been Us
I raise my brows and smirk. “And miss this entertainment? Never. How did you expect to get all of this inside?”
“I’m in the cabin, aren’t I?”
Yes, I guess that would be accurate, but only just. He has about twenty bags hooked in his fingers. I have no idea how he got them on his hands to begin with, but he sure has.
“You’re going to lose your fingers,” I toss back before moving to help. I unhook the bags, setting them on the floor and countertops. “Are we preparing for a zombie apocalypse?”
He rolls his eyes. “I’m a growing boy.”
“You’re something.”
I swear he bought everything they had at the grocery store. I’m seriously confused about why the hell he needs all this, but I’ve bought ten different pairs of shoes this week because I thought they may make me cry less. We’re coping however we can.
When I pull out the box of fruit snacks that are Kinsley’s favorite, I lose it.
Tears fall, and I sink to the ground. I hate this. I want to stop this shit already. I got to love her for a little while, and that should be enough, but it’s not. All I want is more of everything. I want her all the time, and Iknow . . .I know it’s not possible.
“Stella,” Jack says, his hands on my shoulders.
I wipe the tears away. “Why haven’t they called?”
“I don’t know.”
“Were we not clear enough? Do they know we want to be there for them and help? Does Samuel understand that I love her and won’t try to take her? I just want to see her.”
Jack’s shoulders drop as he sighs deeply. “We have to be patient. You and I both know that what they’re dealing with isn’t easy. We have to give her the time she needs, just the same as maybe we need.”
My head jerks up at that. “What time do we need? I don’t need time, I just need some damn hope! I need to know that we haven’t lost her for good. What if he doesn’t write? What if he cuts us off?”
“I don’t think Samuel would do that. He came to us and asked for our help. We aren’t the bad guys, and I don’t think he believes that either. He just has a lot going on.”
I get to my feet and start to pace, not wanting to hear his damn logic. “I feel like I’m coming apart! I argue in circles, knowing that none of this makes sense. I didn’t feel this way twelve years ago, why the hell is it so hard now?”
“It wasn’t easy then, but we were kids. We didn’t know her.”
“She’s perfect.”
“She is.”
“I want to call her,” I say before I lose my nerve. “Or at least text her. Something. She needs to know we care.”
Jack’s eyes don’t leave mine, and I know him well enough that the silence is him trying to work through it. “Maybe text Samuel first. Ask him if it’s okay. If we start going behind his back, we can’t get out of that.”
I release a heavy sigh, feeling a little bit of hope and reach for my phone.
Me: I hope you’re doing well. I’d really like your permission to text Kinsley. At least to let her know we’re thinking of her. If she doesn’t want to talk, that’s fine, but it would mean a lot to me if you’d be okay with that.
I send the text, and then Jack takes the phone from me. “Hey!”
“No, you’re not going to sit here and stare at it. If he texts back, I’ll let you know. Until then, we’re going to enjoy some time together before I have to leave tomorrow.”
“You’re leaving?” I ask with surprise.
“I have to work and keep my income stable.”
I’ve been such an asshole not to even think about Jack’s company. “Of course you do. I didn’t know you had another trip planned.”
“It came in just recently.”
