Page 131 of Could Have Been Us
“The last thirty days have been some of the best in my life,” I confess.
Her fingers swipe under her eyes. “I want to see you again. I would like it if we maybe talked and saw each other.”
“There’s nothing I’d like more than being in your life, kid.”
All these years, I fought against the idea of it, and now I can’t imagine a world where I don’t get to know Kinsley.
“Is it sad that I don’t know when I’ll see you again? Is it wrong that I’m crying because I can’t have it all?” Kinsley asks.
Stella, who is no longer trying to contain the tears, grips her hands. “No, not wrong. No matter what happens, we had a month, and I’ll always hold it close to my heart.”
I cup my daughter’s cheek and wink. “If your dad says it’s okay, we’ll make a plan that works for everyone, okay?”
Kinsley nods, and we see the first break of a smile on her face. “Yes. Okay!”
My hand goes to Stella’s back, and we head to the front door. When we get there, I feel paralyzed. I have to open it, walk away, leave her behind, and manage to drive back home.
I turn, watching Kinsley as she wraps her arms around herself and watches me right back.
The ache in my chest grows, but I somehow find the strength to pull the door open.
“Jack?” Kinsley’s voice causes me to stop. “I’m going to miss you,” she says before she moves forward, and I pull her to me. I hold on to her, wishing that I could keep her with me forever but knowing that it’s not an option.
Not only because she’s legally someone else’s but also because it’s not the best thing for her.
This is her home.
Samuel is her father.
We let go, and after she steps back, I see Samuel standing in the doorway, turmoil heavy in his features.
Please take care of my little girl.
Samuel nods as if he understands.
With that, I take Stella’s hand and lead her outside, our hearts left behind once more.
Chapter 39
Stella
Silence is a terrible thing.
It doesn’t allow for the numbness to seep in. It screams in its nothingness. Four hours have passed without a word between us.
Tears have been shed.
Glances have been cast, but not a word.
What’s there to say anyway?
There is no solace in words because the actions have brought us to this.
When the Great Smokey Mountains start to rise on the horizon, suddenly it feels like I can’t breathe.
My hand goes to my chest because the pain is going through my limbs like fire, burning as it moves. Oh, God. I can’t do this.
I can’t go back home.
