Page 103 of Could Have Been Us
“Did Dad know?” I ask. A part of me hopes that the man I once idolized isn’t such a horrible person. The other part hopes he is because we are about to destroy him in every way.
She shakes her head. “No. He didn’t know.”
“Why did you do it?”
“Because that little girl is my granddaughter. I know that family is a touchy subject right now, but I did what I could without interfering.”
I sit, my legs feeling unsteady. “She’s so overwhelmed,” I tell her.
“The last few months have been difficult, I’m sure. But do you remember what you were like at twelve?”
Maybe that’s the issue. I don’t remember any of it. Kinsley isn’t like Amelia, who I can distract with shiny things. She’s a kid with emotions, and I am really not sure what to do with all that.
“What was I like?”
Mom laughs, and a soft smile plays on her lips. “Well, first, you knew everything. There wasn’t a single thing I could say that you didn’t already have the answer to. You were wrong most of the time, but heaven knows, we couldn’t tell you that. Teenagers are the most infuriating creatures on the planet, and my house was filled with them. You were smart-mouthed—although, that seemed to be something you have been since you could speak.” She laughs and sits beside me. “Most of all, you wanted to be heard. You lived in a house with boys who spoke for you, and you let them know how much you didn’t like it. She’s at a hard age as it is, but couple it with all she’s suffered, and it’s ten times worse. Give her space and time. Be patient and let her come to you. She doesn’t know you or Jack. She just knows she was given away, and now the people who raised her are gone as well.”
My mother and I were close once. A long time ago, before I knew about my father’s affairs or his alternate life, I thought my mother was the strongest and most wonderful woman alive. Shetriedto be a good mom when we were young. For a small glimpse, I’m back to that time again. When my mother would brush my hair and talk to me about whatever I wanted. Then, my father’s affairs wore her down and my grandmother saved us.
“How did we get to this, Mom? How did we go so far off track?”
Shame fills her eyes. “I don’t know, but I’d like to try to do better. I have a lot to apologize for. Things I’ve said and done to all of you that I want to make right. I have no excuses, just an apology. I was lost. I still am, but I am working on myself.”
There is a vulnerability in her that causes my heart to ache. She’s been hurt and, in turn, has hurt many.
“That’s good because we all need each other, and I hope we can find a way to be a family again.”
She dabs at her eyes. “I would like that very much, but first, we need to focus on getting through the next few weeks.”
I nod. “I just want to help her through this.”
My mother reaches forward, her hand resting on mine. “Just be you, Stella. Be you and she’ll come around.”
“I hope so.”
“She will. You’re impossible not to love.”
* * *
I knock on Kinsley’s door with one hand and hold a plate of food for her in the other. It’s been three days of her staying in her room, and I’m running out of ideas that will get her to come out for longer than an hour or two. I keep hearing my mother’s words to let her come to me, but it’s so hard to wait.
“Kinsley?” I knock again. She needs to eat at least.
After a few seconds, she opens it. “Yes?”
“I have some food if you’re hungry.”
The door opens a bit more. “Thanks.” She looks out around the room. “Where’s Jack?”
“He had to go back to his place to make sure everything was still okay. My brother, Oliver, is staying there, and he’s not exactly the . . . cleanest of my siblings.”
“Oh.”
“He’s my twin and opposite of me in so many ways.”
Kinsley takes a bite of the sandwich. I had no idea if she liked turkey, but I figured it was worth a shot.
“I always wanted siblings.”
