Page 102 of Could Have Been Us
But theywantto know her.
They are desperate to connect with their niece who they never knew. There is no way we’ll be able to keep it completely just the three of us, but hopefully, we can do this slowly.
“It’s like learning there is a whole new set of people I didn’t know existed. I wish I was home. At least there, I know basic stuff like where the bathroom is.”
I hate this so much for her. If I could take all of her uncertainty from her, I would.
“Kinsley, you’ve been thrown into a situation that is complicated for an adult, never mind a twelve-year-old. It’s okay to feel unbalanced, but if you need anything—whether it’s space or you want to sit and eat an entire package of Oreos and wash it down with Chips Ahoy—all you have to do is tell us,” I say with a smile, and she closes her eyes for a second before I continue. “Just, please don’t feel like you have to do this alone. We’re going to all stumble and that’s okay.”
She straightens her back. “I’m fine. I am going to read now, if that’s okay?”
I force a smile and nod. “Of course. We’ll be right outside.”
“Thanks.”
As Jack and I shut the door behind us, I pray to God we did the right thing.
Chapter 31
Stella
“Kinsley is in Willow Creek Valley,” I tell my mother, who’s sitting on the sofa in her new apartment.
“What?”
“I think you heard me, Mom.”
She looks down at her clasped hands and then sighs. “I knew this would happen one day.”
“That I’d find my daughter?”
Her eyes find mine. “No, that . . . I don’t know, it was inevitable, I guess.”
There have been so many things over the course of my lifetime that I’ve had to work through. Things that my parents said or did that I had trouble making sense of, but Kinsley was the one I couldn’t ever get through. They forced my hand and never seemed to care.
“How could you have done that to me?”
Her lips part. “Do what?”
“Force me and Jack to give her up. You and Dad threatened to take everything from us if we didn’t do it. I don’t understand, Mom. We were wealthy and could afford to do the right thing.”
She tucks her dark brown hair behind her ear. “It was what we thought was best for you, Stella. Contrary to what you think, it wasn’t an easy decision.”
“It shouldn’t have been your decision at all.”
“You had a choice too. I know it wasn’t ideal for you, but you could’ve kept her. I didn’t force you.”
I shake my head, anger surging through my veins. “Are you that stupid? Of course you did! You knew that Jack and I couldn’t give her the life she deserved without your help. You made it very clear we would lose all your support unless we fell in line, which is what made us have to give her up.”
“No, your father did, and believe me, we fought about it. The truth was that you and Jack made the decision to have sex, without protection. You and Jack made the choice to have her. You and Jack had to deal with the consequences. It was . . . it was absolute hell for me and your father. I suffered with you, Stella. Whether you believe it or not, there were many nights I cried myself to sleep. I would . . .” She stops and has to clear her throat before continuing. “I would listen to your grandmother talk about the baby kicking and hated that I couldn’t be there. If I had been, I would’ve changed my mind, and I knew it was best for you if you allowed another family to care for her.”
Tears run down my cheeks. “And now look at us. Look at the lives we’ve had because of those choices.”
“I’m not proud. I’m far from it. However, I’m not the monster you think I am.”
I get to my feet, pacing and wiping away tears that fall. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”
“Who do you think paid for Misty’s cancer treatments?” I turn, my eyes locking onto hers as she rises gracefully. “Who do you think helped when they wanted to send Kinsley to a special camp? It was all done anonymously, mind you. Misty didn’t know who the money came from and neither did Samuel. You gave up that little girl, but none of us ever let her go.”
