Page 65 of Return to Us
“And now that you’re here, what? Are you going to stay here and not leave if we try this?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
The crestfallen look on her face says everything. “I . . . I . . . we . . . the . . .” Her eyes fill with tears.
“Don’t, Jess. Don’t get upset.” A tear falls down her cheek, and I wipe it away. “Loving you has never been a question, but keeping you has always been our downfall. I can’t leave here and you won’t stay.”
She lets out a deep breath and then speaks. “It’s not that way.”
“But it is. I’m stuck here whether I like it or not. I have Amelia to think about, the inn, and my family, even though they are a pain in my ass.”
“So, what if we try?”
“And I end up with a heartbroken little girl and my own pain?”
She chews on her lower lip. “You can’t tell me what I’m going to want, Grayson. I’ve left you and know how that feels. If we try, and I love you like I . . . and it all . . .”
I lean in, pressing my lips to hers, refusing to hear the end of that. “If we fail,” I say softly, “I won’t hurt my daughter by allowing her to watch another woman walk away.”
I have to protect Amelia and myself because Jessica doesn’t belong here, just like Yvonne didn’t.
Chapter 16
Jessica
“So, you decided not to reconcile. How did he take it?” Dr. Warvel asks from where she sits with her legs crossed, writing in that fucking notebook.
“Badly.”
It’s the day of one-word answers, and I don’t care.
“You’re clearly agitated,” she muses.
“Yup.”
“Do you want to tell me why?”
I look away. “Nope.”
“Okay.” Her voice is even as she leans back in her chair. “I think you’re upset because you allowed yourself to be vulnerable and you’re hurt.”
I huff. She got all that from just a few words. Wow, she’s a goddamn genius. I cross my arms, wanting to build a fortress around myself to stop her words from entering.
I’m not upset because I’m hurt. I’m upset because I was stupid. I lied to myself and thought I could have it all.
What a bunch of shit. No one gets it all.
I clench my teeth together to stop from saying it to her. I don’t want to be here, but my mother took off work so I couldn’t skip. I’m here, but I’m done talking about Grayson Parkerson and my stupid feelings about him.
“Can we not?” My tone is clipped.
“We could, but then this session will leave you exactly where you started.”
“I’m not going to feel better recounting it.”
“Maybe not,” she agrees. “Or maybe you’ll get to the root of why you’re pissed at the world.”
I don’t know how Jacob lives with a shrink. I would kill someone if they kept poking and prodding. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to feel better because pain is the only thing that reminds me that life sucks.
“I’m good.”
