Page 63 of Return to Us
I look out at the view, focusing on the stars instead of how beautiful she is. Her long brown hair is pulled up in one of those buns that make zero sense, and she’s wearing leggings and an off-the-shoulder sweatshirt that shows off her tattoo. “What does that say?” I ask, avoiding the complexity of my thoughts around her.
Her head turns to me, eyes filled with confusion. “What?”
“Your tattoo.”
“Oh,” she says with a grin, “It’s Latin for: strength isn’t measurable.”
“That’s very true.”
“I sometimes have to remind myself that we aren’t born with a finite amount of strength because there’s always more when we need it. We have to harness it, use it, refill it once it’s depleted.”
“Look at you,” I say, nudging her softly. “A philosopher.”
She shakes her head. “Far from it. I just have thoughts about certain things in life.”
“What do you think about this moment then? The two of us, finding each other in a place that has gone untouched for years.”
Jessica stares at me for a beat before turning away, resting her hand along the column of her neck. “I don’t know. What do you think?”
I shift so I can gauge her reaction. “I think it means we were meant to be here.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Why did you come here? Honestly.”
Her breathing grows a bit faster, her eyes searching mine. “I needed to feel alive again.”
“And this place is where you felt it?”
Jessica shakes her head.
“No?” I ask, confused as to why she’d walk out here.
“I felt it with you.”
The pounding in my chest gets louder as indecision wrestles within my head. I want her. I’ve always wanted her. I need her, and yet, I know I will never have her. Jessica can’t be caught, and that was my biggest mistake before. She can’t be caged, and any man who tries to contain her will fail.
This time is different. I know I can’t keep her, but maybe I can hold her for just a while.
The two of us watch each other, waiting for the other to make a move. This time, I will tumble over the side.
I reach my hand out slowly, my thumb brushing her cheek. I move at a pace that gives her every opportunity to push me away.
“I felt safe with you,” I say as I inch nearer to her lips. “I shouldn’t, but you’re the one thing that I can’t seem to let go of.”
A tremble runs through her body, and she places her hand over my racing heart. “What are we doing?”
“Whatever we want. Do you want me?”
Her eyes, which are a rich amber color that is rimmed with a thick line of black, move to my lips. “I told you I can’t kiss you.”
I move a bit more, our mouths just barely a whisper apart. “Then I’ll just have to kiss you.”
I don’t wait for her to answer, I kiss her. My lips meld to hers as though we were made to fit this way. She tilts her head, and I take advantage of it, deepening the kiss. Jessica’s arm wraps around me as she clings to me, and I lay her down.
The moan that escapes her runs through my bones, and I want to hear it again and again. Her lips part, and then our tongues slide along each other’s. I’m so fucking done. I hold her head steady, controlling the kiss, needing to fucking take anything she’ll give me.
She makes soft noises, clutching my back as I roll atop her. “Jess,” I say her name into the silent air.
