Page 20 of Return to Us
“I guess I’ll see you on Monday?”
“First thing.”
She walks away, leaving me standing here, staring at the horizon and wondering how I’m going to make my sister pay for this. And if this still means I’ve never fucked the help.
Chapter 5
Jessica
The dream book is sitting on my lap, my hands resting over it as my leg bounces. Dr. Warvel is sitting in her chair, legs crossed as she waits.
I’m not sure if I have the strength to do this. I run my sweaty palms on my legs. “It’s like opening Pandora’s box,” I finally say.
“The dreams aren’t locked up, Jessica. You’re living them every day.”
“Maybe that’s why I don’t want to read it.”
Ithoughtthat I would hand the book over andshewould read it. Not that I was going to have to pour over every word. After I wrote in the book each morning, I didn’t go back. I didn’t want to see it in black and white. It’s a damn movie in my brain.
She sits forward. “Part of healing is to face the trauma you’ve endured.”
“How am I not? I’m here and trying.”
“Yes, you are. The point of reading it is to acknowledge it, but it’s also to see if the dream is truly the same as the event or if you’re experiencing things that you don’t even realize are different. The point of journaling it is to give you a record of the dream to be able to compare it to the actual events.”
My leg bounces faster. “I’m not ready.”
“Okay then.” She sits back in her chair and writes a note. “Tell me if anything new has happened this week.”
I can do that. “I got a job.”
Her eyes widen and a smile crosses her face. “Well, that’s big news. Where, and doing what?”
“I’m going to run the front desk at the Park Inn.”
“The Park Inn? The one that the Parkerson family owns?”
“The one and only.”
I never imagined working for the Park Inn. The truth is, I sort of vowed I never would, but I was there and Stella offered it. It’s been a month since the crash, and I needsomething. This is my first real taste of being my former self.
Dr. Warvel bobs her head slowly. “That’s great, Jessica. You have spent the last month unsure of what the future held, and this will bring you one step closer to your goal of returning to normal.”
I’m slightly impressed she didn’t bring up Grayson or ask how I feel about working with him. I sure as hell am not going to be the one to mention it.
He didn’t seem uneasy about being around me, we had that nice talk on my porch, and well, I don’t plan to stick around here once I’m healed anyway.
“That’s my hope.”
“All of this is exciting. Do you have any concerns that you want to discuss?”
There’s really just one. “I’m worried that my head and might . . . go . . .this!” I yell, frustrated because I couldn’t speak again.
“And that’s valid, but you can’t control how your brain is healing. All you can do is be patient and work through the situations as they arise. Like you’re doing right now.”
I can’t control my own mouth. “Why won’t this stop?”
“Because, while you feel a month is a long time, it’s not. Thirty days is a short blip, and you are not only working through new physical limitations but also an emotional trauma.” Her eyes drop to the notebook on my lap.
