Page 73 of Stay for Me
“Then I think it’s a good idea. Plus, I want to.”
That’s sweet. I smile and nod as he gets himself presentable. Not that him fully naked is not damn near perfect, just not for walking me back. Heaven knows my in-laws like to surprise me with breakfast randomly, and that would be quite a sight at the house.
Once he’s dressed, he throws one arm around my shoulders, tucking me safely against his chest. I really missed this. The feeling of being cherished and held. I hadn’t realized just how much the loss of something so simple would affect me.
It was a turning point in my grief, one I didn’t even think I needed. The entire time, I was in the moment with him. I could only think, see, and feel Jacob. Yes, the sex was beyond amazing, but so was the way he cared for me.
Not once did I feel uncomfortable or unsure. He took his time to ensure that I was completely okay with what we were doing. It means a lot to me that he was so wonderful.
As we stroll, I look up at him. “Thank you, Jacob.”
His brows knit together, and we stop. “For what?”
“Just making this all easy for me. I don’t have to guess or wonder with you, and whether or not you believe me—it matters. The last eleven months haven’t been easy for us. I’ve struggled with if or when I’d be willing to do this. Well, any of it. If I could ever let another man in without thinking of Luke.”
He clears his throat. “Right. I . . . I’m not really sure what to say.”
“I didn’t, if that’s what you’re wondering. All I thought about was you and me and how perfect this was. I know it means nothing more than what it was—sex, but still you made everything great.”
“Brenna . . .”
“No, please. You don’t have to say anything. In fact, I’d rather you don’t. Let this be what it was, and . . . like I said, no promises.”
If he says something to agree with me, then it will probably bother me. If he says something that contradicts what I’m telling myself, then that will be a disaster. I’ll skip both options and stay in a safe place.
“Can I ask when I can see you again?” He pulls me into his arms and smiles.
“I’ll see you tomorrow at rehearsals.”
He nods. “That you will.”
“Where we will pretend we haven’t spent a morning naked in the woods.”
Jacob laughs. “I’m very good at pretending.”
“I’ll need to remember that.”
We start to walk again, and when I can just make out the outline of the house, I stop, knowing I need to say goodbye to him and wanting nothing other than to bring him inside. I step closer to the house, but he grabs my wrist, and I press myself closer to him.
“I know you don’t want me to say anything, but I need to say that what we shared today wasn’t just some casual sex. I care about you, and I care about your kids. I’m not saying that we can have more, but you’re not just some nameless girl, okay?”
There are so many questions I want to ask, but I can’t let my heart get tangled in this web. It’s not good for anyone, especially me.
“Okay.”
“I mean it.”
And I believe him, but I’m on dangerous ground here. “I know you do, but I have to go.”
His eyes fill with heat again as he keeps me there, hands firm against my back as he kisses me. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I smile, and my stomach does a little flip. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
And then I turn and walk away, refusing to look back. I have to always keep my eyes forward, even when I want nothing more than to look back.
* * *
“Sugar, I have returned to you!” Cybil’s voice echoes from the other room, and I drop my hairbrush and rush out.
