Page 121 of Stay for Me
She flops back and shakes her head. “You, my friend, could use all the wisdom in the world right now. For being an expert on how people work, you sure fucked this one up.”
And to think, I called her because I needed support.
All night, I waited for a call or a text from Jacob. I battled with calling again, but then I didn’t want to come off as desperate, which I was and still am. I was wrong and stupid, and I hope that he gives me the chance to apologize.
“I’m aware of this.”
Cybil sits back up, her face grows serious. “I know you’re hurting, but he said he was shooting all day, maybe he turned his phone off and didn’t turn it back on so he could focus. I’m not sure that actors don’t have weird rituals, and maybe it’s his.”
“Or maybe he heard it but decided I was an asshole and needed to sit in my own self-hate.”
“Sugar, you don’t know shit about what he’s thinking. Neither of us do.”
I sigh. “How did I mess this up so bad?”
“Because Luke, for all his great qualities, didn’t place you and the kids above his job. Even when he had the choice, and you asked him to get out of the navy, he didn’t. You asked him not to volunteer for the deployment, and he did. You begged him to take leave when you were sick and he wouldn’t. Yes, all those times there was something imperative to his career, but that’s just it. Being a pilot was all he wanted and he didn’t really care what he had to give up to keep that. Reggie and I would talk about it a lot because it never made sense—and because I threatened to leave his ass if he tried the same shit. But you complained about it all the time and it wasn’t enough for him to change.”
She has always been very aware of how I felt about his career. Nothing was more important than flying. It didn’t matter that he married me, in reality, he was committed to his job.
I always felt that.
There was always this part of me that wondered what would have happened if Melanie had never surprised us.
“So, you think that’s what I was doing to Jacob?”
Cybil smiles softly. “I think that you did what any irrational and emotional woman would do. In fact, I’m sort of proud of you in many ways.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means you weren’t perfect, Bren. You didn’t go deep in your head and explain why your feelings were either right or wrong before you reacted. Jacob makes you lose yourself. He made you forget that people don’t always respond the right way and it’s the errors that teach us the lessons.”
“Another Daddy tip?” I ask with mock sarcasm.
“That one came from you.”
“Me?”
She laughs. “Yes, you idiot. You said it once, and it stuck. I tend to like phrases like that.”
“Cyb,” I say, feeling sad again. “I love him.”
“I know, sugar. He loves you too. He’ll come around. You’ll see.”
I sure hope so because I don’t want to experience losing him.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Jacob
I’m fucking over it all. We’ve reshot this scene four times, and it still isn’t right. I’m tired, angry, and can’t stop thinking about Brenna and how we left things.
Her message replays in my head, but I’m still not ready to talk to her. For all I know, she called to tell me she really feels the way she said and we’re done. I needed my head in the game in order to get through today, which it’s clearly not.
“Cut!” Noah yells and then walks toward me. “Jacob, I know you have somewhere else you’d rather be, but I need you to focus so we can get through this scene. Can you give me one good, full scene? We have enough to splice some, but I’d like the sequence to feel like we got through it once.”
“Yeah. Of course. I just need two minutes.”
Noah nods and waves his finger in the air twice. “Let’s start it over from the top. I have a good feeling, people, let’s all be on our A-game so we’re done before nine.”
