Page 11 of Stay for Me
Cybil wraps her arm around his shoulders and squeezes him. “We all want you to be happy, Bren.”
“I know. I do, I know. It’s just that . . . I miss him, and I feel like somedays I don’t miss him enough anymore. There are days where I don’t think about him as much, and I don’t remember the sound of his laugh as clearly anymore. And now, to see a guy and even wonder what it would be like to be kissed by him? It’s hard. I’m struggling with it. But since meeting him, that’s what’s plaguing me. This feeling that I’m doing something wrong by even thinking twice about another man.”
“So, you thought about kissing him?” Cybil picks up on the one part of that.
I sigh. “I swear that you’re ridiculous.”
“Maybe so, but you’re a beautiful, young woman who has every right to want it.”
“Want what?”
Cybil smiles. “To be wanted.”
* * *
Every Wednesday is movie night in our house. When Luke and I were newlyweds, we couldn’t go out for dates, so we made the dates come to us. We tried to do the same tradition at least once a month if he was around. Since he’s gone, the kids have decided Wednesdays are now for family movies. We rotate who chooses, and tonight is Melanie’s turn, which means . . . romantic comedy.
This chick flick, however, mirrors life closer than I care to admit. The girl is alone after her husband died . . . and she met a man she can’t stop thinking of. Ugh.
I glance over at my kids, and Melanie’s eyes are glued to the screen while Sebastian’s head is lolled to the side as if he hates that it isn’t his week. Not that we don’t know what he’d select—Navigator. Another night of watching Jacob save the day. He’s a fighter pilot by day and flies in some weird suit when he’s saving the world. I can only imagine all the comments Luke would’ve made about the movie and the holes in it.
“How much longer do we have to suffer?” Sebastian groans. “This movie is torture.”
He’s right about that. “Not sure.”
Sebastian huffs. “This is killing me! She loves the guy, why won’t she just give in?”
Melanie turns to him with a glare. “Shh. If she did, the movie would be over.”
“Yes, that’s what I want.”
A small laugh escapes my lips.
Then, on the screen, a voice draws my attention to look. A pair of eyes that I’ve thought about for the last few days are there. I blink a few times, trying to stop my mind from playing tricks on me. But it’s him. Jacob is there on the screen, handing the girl her change.
“Hey! That’s Jacob!” Sebastian notes.
“No one cares, dummy.” Melanie huffs.
My heartbeat accelerates, and once again, the butterflies fill my stomach. He looks so strong and sure. It’s a small part, nothing to even notice if it weren’t for how popular he is now, but his smile . . . his smile makes it hard to breathe.
“I care,” Sebastian says. “Mom looks like she cares. You’re the only one who doesn’t care,Mel.”
Melanie’s eyes narrow. “Be. Quiet.”
He rolls his eyes and groans.
He manages to do that for about four minutes as the female debates again if it’s too early. “Seriously, Mom, this chick needs therapy.”
Mel pauses the movie and actually growls at him. “You try losing your husband when you’re young, and see what happens. She’s scared. She’s lonely. She’s afraid it’s too soon to like another guy. God, Sebastian, you’re such a stupid boy. She just needs time to realize it’s okay to move on! Her heart and her head are at war because . . . she loved her husband and she doesn’t know if liking another guy is the right thing. She’s a widow, and none of us can know how hard that is.”
Everything around me seems to slow as her words sink in.
Sebastian’s wide eyes are on me. “Mel . . .”
Her attention whips toward me, and she gives me the same wide-eyed expression my son is still wearing. “Oh, God. Mom, I’m so sorry.”
I shake my head, pushing my own thoughts away. “No, it’s okay.”
