Page 48 of The One for Me
“And if this is all just a mistake?”
“Then you’ll survive it. He’ll leave and probably only visit when he’s seeing his nieces and nephew. It’ll suck, but you can endure it. It really won’t be much different from before he came back, right?”
My heart begins to ache at the picture she just painted. Sean coming here and me trying to hide from him so it doesn’t hurt. I don’t want that.
“Except I’ll know what it felt like to let him in the way you let Declan in.”
Sydney leans back, biting her lower lip. “I know that it’s hard. Believe me, I get it. I also know that no matter what the hell paths we got lost on, I was found by the man who was meant to walk beside me. Life is hard and love isn’t easy. It’s terrible at times.” She laughs softly. “It’s fear and excitement in one ball of emotions that I swear can roll you over.”
“You’re really selling me on this,” I say with sarcasm.
She shrugs. “It’s also the single most human desire. You and Sean already love each other. That won’t change. I really believe that, no matter what happens if you were to date, you’d still maintain a relationship. You guys are . . . more than Declan and I were.”
My brows raise in surprise. “What?”
“Yeah, Declan and I were high school sweethearts. We were always a couple, never friends like you guys. So, when we lost us, we lost ourselves. You and Sean are stronger than that. You’d have challenges trying to become something together, but apart, you’d still be the same people. And that’s just the worst case, Dev. There’s a whole possibility of a beautiful and happy life if you guys do make it work. There would be holidays, family time, and nothing is as bonded as those boys so we’d always be close. I think you’re going down the path where you’ve painted this terrible picture to keep yourself from accepting that you already know it’s a foregone conclusion.”
All of this is so confusing. “I just don’t understand why it has to change.”
“Let me ask you this, let’s just say that you guys don’t pursue this, and you never risk it, do you really think the friendship is going to be the same? You and Oliver are over, you’re living with Sean . . . well, you’re kind of living with him. And now, there’s this . . . thing between you.”
In my heart, I know she’s right. When he leaves, I won’t be the same and neither will our friendship. I know what it’s like to feel his lips on mine, and I’ve heard the sounds he makes when I grip his hair. None of that can be erased.
“He makes it hard to think. When he’s around, I battle with myself in a way that I haven’t in years. That feeling, the unease and uncertainty, is what makes me want to run.”
Sydney exhales slowly. “You’ve never told me much about your past, and that’s fine, but I’m going to assume there was a guy and it went south. Whatever happened then isn’t what’s happening now.”
“I know this.”
“Do you?”
I want to say that I do. Punishing Sean for what Christopher did isn’t fair, but it’s the feelings that terrify me. I could fall in love with Sean in a way that would leave me utterly destroyed if we didn’t work out.
“I know what the ending of this story is, Syd.”
She rolls her eyes. “You should’ve listed psychic on your resume, it would’ve really helped with the cases.”
“Ass.”
“I’m serious, you know nothing. Nothing. None of us do when it comes to love or relationships. Look at Declan. He’s the biggest idiot of them all. Heknewwhat would happen. Heknewthat we could never work. He. Knew.Nothing.”
I laugh because she’s one hundred percent right. “He knew he loved you enough not to want to hurt you.”
“And wasn’t that the biggest joke of it all. I love him enough to heal his broken parts. Sean and you aren’t broken, Dev. You’re working with an advantage already. There’s no torrid past to muddle through. Nothing other than a chance. Take it because, if you don’t, you’re going to be the woman in the back of the church, watching the man you love marry another. And that would be the worst ending to a story that you could’ve altered.”
* * *
“What movie do you want to watch tonight?” Sean asks as he plops onto the couch.
“I want something that will make me laugh, unlike the gore and blood you’ve made me endure lately.”
He pops a piece of popcorn into his mouth and then grins. “Chicken.”
“I’m not a chicken.”
“Bet you had a nightmare last night.”
I glare at him, partially because he’s right and partially because the stupid man is, once again, not wearing fucking clothes and sitting much too close.
