Page 94 of The One for Me
I look into his green eyes, my vision hazy as the tears and the truth spills out. “I’m his biological mother.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Devney
He hasn’t said a word since I told him the truth a few minutes ago. Right after I said it, the doctor led us back to Austin’s room. Now, we are standing in the doorway, listening to the machines beep and watching the frail-looking little boy in the bed sleep.
Austin’s leg is wrapped and in a brace and elevated. The recovery will be difficult, but I will do everything I can to make this easier for him.
First, I have to break his heart and pray my love is strong enough to help heal it.
“Are you going in?” Sean asks, the edge in his voice causes me to shrink in a bit.
There were a million better ways today could’ve ended. My brother could’ve stayed in the hotel, lived, and the pieces would’ve fallen the right way in telling Sean about my . . . my son.
But that didn’t happen. Instead, I might have ruined everything.
I glance up at him, his thick lashes framing those incredible emerald-green eyes that are distant. “I didn’t mean for this—”
“Not now. Not when he needs you.”
We turn to where Austin lies. “We have to talk, though.”
He nods. “We will, but right now, there are more important things than whatever you and I need to resolve.”
I know I’ve hurt him. I can feel the tension growing between us. I’ve kept this from him for ten years, and I can only hope he’ll understand once he knows the whole story.
First, I have to handle the situation at hand.
“He should be waking up soon,” the nurse says softly as she approaches. “If you want to be at his side, it might help for him to see a familiar face.”
Sean’s hand touches my back, and I let him guide me into the room. Like the parting of the sea, we stand on each side of him. My chest hurts as I stare down at the little boy I love more than my own life.
“He doesn’t deserve any of this. He should be riding his horse in the snow, throwing the ball with his father, and planning ways to get into trouble,” Sean says as he pushes Austin’s hair back.
“No, he doesn’t deserve any of this.”
His happiness and his chance at a good life are the reasons I’ve endured any of this. What I could give him at twenty was nothing like the life Jasper and Hazel provided. They were able to provide for him and raise him the way I wanted him to be raised.
There was never discord or unhappiness for him. Austin was loved and cared for in every way.
I was lucky that losing my son meant gaining a nephew who Hazel and Jasper loved like their own son. They wanted me to love him. They begged me to come back to Sugarloaf, be his auntie, and get to see him grow.
As hard as it was, I did it, and it was the greatest gift they ever gave me.
“Austin,” I call his name with all the tenderness I possess. “It’s okay, sweet boy.” I run my hands through his hair and then trail them down his sweet face.
As much as I want to see his eyes, I don’t. When he wakes, he’ll have questions, and the answers aren’t what I want to give.
There is no easy way to give anyone news like that. This has to be done very carefully.
I look over at Sean and his gaze meets mine. “He doesn’t know, and we can’t tell him.”
He breathes through his nose and then looks down. “I wouldn’t say anything. I’m just here for support.”
I wonder how much a heart can break before it just gives up. I’m going to suffer more losses than I can bear today.
“I’m sorry, Sean.” Before it’s too late and everything becomes too muddied, I say it.
