Page 87 of The One for Me
“I never said it was,” I reply with my arms crossed. “We just were supposed to go to my parents’ tonight and talk to them. It’s only two, the roads are clear, and we’re going to a hotel for no reason.”
He sighs, running his hand down his face. “Why is going there so important?”
Because I wanted to talk about more than just my parents.
It’s time to tell Sean everything about my past. He deserves to know, and I’m finally ready to tell him.
“Because I wanted to talk to you before we go there.”
“So, why can’t you do that now? It’s just us, sweetheart.”
“It just . . . I can’t do it in a hotel or in the car.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t really have a great reason, but . . . I want us to be alone and in our home. Where the walls aren’t down.”
“You’re starting to scare me. What is this about?”
Yeah, this is not going to be how it spills out of my mouth, but I need to let him know the truth to some extent. “You asked me a while back what I wasn’t telling you.”
“Right.”
“The thing is, I trust you. I always have, but I didn’t trust myself. I wasn’t able to tell you certain things because I was too scared to, but I love you in a way I didn’t know was possible. I want to talk about the whole part of my past. I just can’t do it in a hotel.”
Sean takes my hand in his. “Is it really that important we do this tonight?”
“It is, but I’m scared,” I confess.
He sighs and pulls over into the gas station. “Scared of me?”
“No! No, not that.”
“Then what?” he asks after I stay quiet for a few seconds.
How do I explain to him what I’m afraid of? It isn’t that I think he won’t understand, because he will. He won’t blame me for any of it. What Christopher did to me was horrible and no one faults me for it—well, no one other than my mother.
Still, I have kept this secret, made it my talisman to the past, and fought hard to prevent anyone from finding out.
I look into his eyes, which are filled with concern. “Devney . . .”
“I’m scared of saying the words.”
Jasper’s car pulls up next to us, and Sean curses under his breath. The window rolls down, and my brother’s voice breaks the silence. “You guys okay?”
“We’re fine. Are you comfortable driving back or do you want to stay at the hotel?”
“Roads seem to be okay. I’d rather get back. The horses need to be fed, and I have to check on the tarp we put on the roof of the barn.”
Sean looks out at the road and then back. “All right. Devney wants to head back too. She was planning to see your parents.”
“Well, that’s reason enough to avoid going,” he jokes.
I lean over. “It’s about everything, Jas. It’s time.”
A few weeks ago, he said it was time, and he’s right. Sean is the first person I’ve loved enough to even want to tell. It never even occurred to me to tell Oliver, which showed me just how much Sean means to me.
Sean looks from Jasper back to me. “Time?”
