Page 55 of The One for Me
“And what are you thinking?” I ask.
He steps closer. “That it’s my birthday, and I have one wish.”
My heart begins to race, and my breathing grows deeper. “Yeah?”
Sean nods as he takes another step closer. “Do you know what it is?”
The words don’t come out, so I shake my head.
“You, Devney. I wished for you. I wished that you’d stop fighting and let me love you. I wished that you’d see how much I want you, in every way.”
I close my eyes, feeling the sting of tears and pain in my heart. I can’t do this to him. He will love me, and I will fall desperately in love with him. And in four months, he’ll be gone, and I’ll be here.
He’ll never understand.
I’ll have to tell him the truth about what makes me stay here, and I literally can’t.
It’s a secret that I have to take to my grave.
“I wish it could be, but I’ll only hurt us.”
“Why?”
I look into his emerald-green eyes, ones that have seen me through almost everything, and hate that I can’t share this. “I can’t go with you.”
“Tell me why.”
His hand brushes against my cheek, cupping it as his thumb sweeps a slow arch. “It’s not my secret to tell.”
“Do you think you’re the only one with secrets, Dev? Do you know why I left so many years ago and vowed to never step foot in this town again?”
I release a deep breath, my hand resting on his chest. “Your dad.”
“It wasn’t just my dad.”
“No?”
His eyes close and I feel the pain radiating from his body. “No.”
I’ve never been stupid or naïve enough to think that he doesn’t have secrets. We all do, I’m the worst offender, but there’s been this . . . hope . . . that maybe Sean didn’t. That he bared it all to me, and it was only my sins that needed to be confessed.
Obviously, that’s not the case.
“We don’t have to do this tonight,” I offer. “It’s your birthday in two hours, and I have a present for you.”
He smiles softly, but there’s a sense of determination in his eyes when he looks at me. “I’ve kept it for a long time, only talking to my brothers about it, and even then, we didn’t discuss it really. See, the thing is, I want a life with you. I want to be the shoulder you cry on, like you’ve always been mine, but I’ve held back.” I focus on my breathing, but it falters when his head rests against mine. “No more, Devney.”
I stand in this cocoon of warmth and safety as the two of us lean into each other. Here, when it’s just us two, it’s almost as if the world around us can’t break the relationship we’re building. It’s easy to believe all the worries are superficial, and I want to stay just like this.
When a storm would roll through, Sean would run to my house, climb through my window, and lay next to me, holding my hand as the thunder shook me to my core. I hated storms, and I feared him going through the fields while there was a chance he could be hurt, but he knew I was more afraid he wouldn’t come, so he never failed me.
Now it seems as though the storm isn’t outside. It’s raging within this room.
I lift my head. “You know that nothing you say will ever change how I feel about you.”
He laughs once. “I hope that’s not the case.”
“Why?”
