Page 54 of The One for Me
“Yeah, all because he cried when he broke his arm. So, Dear old Dad thought to take a fucking stick and beat him with it to, ‘Give him something to cry about.’ He felt we were weak and his beatings were a way to toughen us up.”
Each time a slice of something other than pure hatred toward the man bubbled up, it’s quickly tampered down. There was no goodness in him. Not after Mom died, at least. It was as if she took all the kindness that lived in him and buried it with her.
“He was a piece of shit.”
I nod and then push the beer away. “And that’s why I don’t think he felt any remorse. If he did, he had plenty of opportunities to reach out to any of us. Instead, he fucked us by forcing us back here.”
“So far, we’ve all done okay,” Connor says. “I found Ellie, and Syd and Dec finally got their shit together. Look at you, Sean, you’re finally admitting your feelings for Devney. I’m not saying I agree with the methods, but had it not gone down this way, our lives would be on different courses.”
Declan laughs. “Yeah, you’d be living on my couch, trying to figure out what to do now that you’re out of the navy.”
He smirks and raises his beer. “That I would.”
“Or with me, living it up on the beach.”
“Another promising possibility.”
I roll my eyes. “But look at you now.”
“Yeah, I’m not pining after a girl, hoping my brother can give me some mind trick up his sleeve that I can use to get her. Instead, I’ve got the girl.”
My middle finger raises in his direction.
Declan pipes in. “Me too, brother.”
“Yes, you’re all living it up.”
“Well, whatever it is that is holding her back, you have to uncover it and do whatever you can to help her through it.” Connor finally offers some advice worth a damn.
“Guys!” Ellie yells. “It’s time to eat!”
Connor places his hand on my shoulder as he gets up. “Let’s go inside so we can watch you go down in flames.”
Who knows, maybe I need to start a fire to get her to burn. It’s time to light the match by telling her the truth about my past and hoping she’ll tell me whatever it is that she’s holding back. We can let the past become ash and rise into our future if she’ll just try.
Chapter Sixteen
Devney
Dinner was fun. It was great being with the guys and my friends as we just enjoyed each other. And then there were the babies. God, they’re so damn cute.
I held either Bethanne or Deacon in my arms at all times. I loved how they fit so comfortably in my arms, making their sweet little baby noises. Each minute more precious than the last. One day. One day, I’ll have that.
One day, I’ll hold a child, protect them, snuggle them, and get to inhale that soft scent until I have it committed to memory.
“You okay?” Sean’s deep voice asks from the doorway of my bedroom. “I called your name, but you didn’t answer.”
“Yeah. Sorry. I was . . . daydreaming I guess.” I grab the pajamas I was going to change into and toss them on the bed. No way in hell I’m going to undress right now.
“What is heavy on your mind?”
I give a reluctant smile. “Us.”
“It’s the same for me.”
I look at Sean, wondering if the feeling we both have is a figment of our imaginations or the real thing. A part of me knows it’s real. Each night, I find myself reaching for him. Not in the normal best-friend way that we’ve always been, but deeper. When we talked about the kids on the horseback ride, he watched me in a way I’ve never seen before.
Then, when we watch a movie, we sit a bit closer. Each time we’re together, something else pulls at me, making me want more and more. These last few months have shown me that Seanismore. He’s . . . everything. He’s the guy who makes it all feel right.
