Page 22 of The One for Me
Sean’s eyes lift to mine, awareness flashing between us. He may know me, but I know him just as well. “That’s not why I kissed you.”
“No, you’re not cruel. You’re worried, going through a lot of things, and I’m comfort, which is something I will always be.”
He moves closer and then stops. “I feel something, Devney.”
“And I do too, but we’ve been friends for damn near twenty years and have never felt anything until now, why? It doesn’t make sense.” I pull my jacket a little tighter as the cold air whips around us.
“Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean it’s not real.”
“No, but it doesn’t mean it’s right.”
His breath is forced out through his lips. “I see.”
I’m glad he does because I have no idea what I’m saying. I feel something too—fear. I worry that I’ll fall so head over heels in love with him and then end up broken on the ground when he leaves, which he will. It’s not a matter of if but when he will go. His entire life is baseball and mine is not.
My insecurities are far beyond what he could try to guess. I can’t live a life with someone who wants his cake and wants to eat it too.
“Our situations wouldn’t change,” I add.
“No, they wouldn’t.”
“I don’t want to leave this town.”
He runs his hand through his thick brown hair. “And I won’t come back. Even if I wanted to, which I don’t, I’m bound by contract to stay in Florida.”
“Right. And . . . that leaves us here.”
“At an impasse it seems.”
At the beginning and the end of a relationship that was never meant to be. “I love you, Sean. I really do, so please, let’s not do this and mess up the friendship we share, okay?”
He sighs and pulls me to his chest. “Okay, Shrimpy. We’ll stay the way we are and I’ll do my best not to kiss you.”
I laugh. “I’m sure you’ll find a way to manage.”
Sean’s arms fall away, and I step back. “Can we at least hang out? I’m in that...house...and I’m all alone.”
“You live alone in Florida!”
“That’s different.”
“How so?”
He shrugs. “I don’t like anyone there, and I happen to like you.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll bring a scary movie over tomorrow, and we can make fun of it.”
The smile that paints his face is so beautiful. “Perfect. It’s a date.”
Friends. We are friends. Friends don’t date. “Right.”
“Say hello to your parents,” Sean says as he heads down the stairs.
I watch him go and wonder how we’re going to find our footing again. Each time he kisses me, a little bit of my resolve melts. It’s been so long since I felt such an intensity with a man.
And I know where that got me.
Once I head back inside, my parents are in the kitchen at the small table.
