Page 145 of The One for Me
“Then you listen, and I’ll talk.”
He pushes the stray hair from my face, and I resist the urge to rest my fingers on his strong chest. I long to feel the muscles beneath that shirt, the strength in his arms, and the shield he provides around me.
There is nothing about him I don’t want and need, I just hate that he lives there while I’m stuck here.
“Does this not hurt you?” I ask. “There has to be a way to make it stop, right?”
“You have no idea how much pain I’m in without you, Devney. You can’t fucking fathom how much I miss you, but we’re going to talk. I’m not rehashing anything we haven’t already said.”
Hope blooms in my chest, but it fizzles when I remember there isn’t anything we haven’t already talked about. The situation is the same as it was two weeks ago, only now, having to stand here and look at him sends new cuts through my tattered heart.
Still, I’m unable to push him away. I will take the scars because he’s worth the pain.
He extends his hand to the table, and I sit. There’s no way I could outrun him if I tried, and I’m not going to squander the chance to stare at him.
His thick, dark brown hair is in disarray, and his green eyes look tired, but there’s a mix of hope in there. The scruff on his face is a little longer, but no less sexy. Sean is even more gorgeous . . . because he’s here.
“Okay, I’ll listen.”
He sits beside me and takes my hand in his. The feel of his skin against mine is a balm that heals a damaged part of me. It’s sad that this simple gesture can both break and mend me. I’m a fucking mess.
“For a long time, I’ve loved you. Loved you more than I loved the girl who bought me a bat and made mud pies. Maybe it was because you did that. Still, I fought it. I found excuse after excuse to resist the feelings I had for you. I dated girls who looked like you, told myself it was just a coincidence, and put you in a box in my heart. I couldn’t open it, I couldn’t even think about touching it because I knew, once I did, that would be it.” His thumb brushes against the top of my hand, and I fight back the tears once more. “You didn’t just open it, Devney, you tore it apart, threw it out, and took up residence in my whole fucking life. There is not a part of me that doesn’t belong to you. So, I can’t do this without you. I can’t go back to the way it was because that life doesn’t exist anymore.” There’s no fighting them anymore. The tears fall, and he pulls me into his arms. “Don’t cry, sweetheart.”
“Don’t make me love you any more than I do because I can’t. My heart can’t love you more. It can’t contain it, and you’re killing me. I’ll find a way to do long distance or something, but I need you.”
He takes my face in his hands and stares at me. Those green eyes penetrate my soul, and then my hands are mirroring his. I hold him, needing to see him, really see him again. I have never thought love like this was possible for me, and now I’m here.
“I understand what you need. I know why you can’t come to Florida, and honestly, I’d be the worst asshole imaginable if I asked it of you.”
“But . . .”
“You have to do what’s best for Austin.”
He told me he wasn’t going to rehash old points, and now, we’re sitting in Ellie’s kitchen, and I’m sitting on his lap crying.
My hands drop. “Again, Sean. Again we’re back here.”
“We’re not. Listen to me, we’re not.” He leans in, kisses my tears, and then my lips. “I love you, Devney Maxwell. I love you more than you will ever know, and that’s why I’m no longer playing for Tampa.”
I gasp, my stomach drops, and I want to throw up. He didn’t. Please tell me he didn’t quit or do something stupid. Not for me. Not when this has been his dream since he was Austin’s age. I’ve been on the receiving end of living the life you never wanted. I can’t watch him do that.
“Sean, you can’t!”
“I can, and I did.”
Sean smiles at me, but all I can feel is the regret that surges through my body. He has no idea what he’s done. How much he’ll regret it. “I don’t want to be the reason you give up your dream.”
“You’re the one who said I have to choose one or the other, Devney, and I choose you. Each time. Every day and twice on Sundays.”
“I won’t let you do this!”
He just smiles wider and leans forward to rest his forehead to mine. “It’s already done.”
I close my eyes, breathing in deep as I brush my nose against his. “Why? Why would you?”
“Because you’re the one for me, Devney Maxwell, and I won’t live without you.”
“You’re going to hate me. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but one day, you’ll see me as the girl who stole your dreams instead of your heart.”
