Page 144 of The One for Me
He stops just close enough for me to catch a trace of his musky cologne. “You guys doing okay?”
“Yeah, we . . . we just stopped over so Hadley and Austin could hang out.”
“I see that.”
“Are you having a good visit?”
I wish I were visiting you. I long for you every night. Please, find a way for us to work because I’m dead inside without you.
“Yes, it’s been good to see friends,” I say and hope he hears the slight dig.
He’s my friend, and I haven’t seen him. Two weeks of looking over my shoulder, wondering if the ding on my phone would finally be him, and wondering if I’d see him anywhere in town.
A part of me was convinced he disappeared without saying goodbye. It might have been easier if he had.
“I’m sure it is.” There’s a wash of guilt that crosses his face. He knows I meant him.
Good.
“I’ve been in meetings.”
Ellie’s eyes jump between us as we volley the conversation. “Did your meetings go as you hoped?” she asks.
The look that passes between them leaves me curious. “They were productive.”
Ellie clears her throat. “I’m going to take the kids out to the barn. Give you guys a chance to get this awkward conversation out without the walls having ears.”
“Thanks, Ells.”
She pats his arm and winks at me. “Anything for you two.”
Once we’re alone, I feel dizzy and have to fight the urge to throw myself into his arms and refuse to let him go.
Instead, I stand statue still and stare at the man I love.
Time has done nothing to diminish how much I want him. I don’t know that a million years could lessen the feelings I have.
No, what we share is something that will never change.
I know. Right here, right now, that I can’t watch him walk away again. Somehow, I have to have him. I love him enough to have him in whatever way possible.
“How are you?” I finally ask.
Sean takes a step closer. “I’m miserable. Lonely. And I miss the only person who matters in my life. How about you?”
My head jerks back, not expecting him to be honest. “Sean . . .”
“No. I’m not going to lie to you. I’m miserable. I miss you, and I love you. If that makes me an asshole, then that’s what I am. I knew you were here, so I came. Want to know why?”
I look up at him, the walls feeling as if they’re closing in. “I can guess.”
“Can you?”
I nod. If he feels even half as bad as I do, I know why he came. He couldn’t stop himself. “I hate this. Now what?” I ask, feeling nervous.
“Now, we talk.”
I want to fall to the floor and weep. “Talking changes nothing, Sean. We’ve talked, and we’re back here each time.”
