Page 140 of The One for Me
“What?” I snap after I catch him looking at me again.
“You’re sure it’s over? There’s no way you can work this out?”
“Yup. It’s over.”
“I don’t get it.”
I release a heavy breath through my nose and stare out at the dirt that is trying to settle back down. “Me either.”
In fact, I don’t get anything in life. My mother’s death was horrible. Then there was our shitty ass father who beat us, killed two people, and almost destroyed all our lives. I mean, why the hell not lose the girl I love? What’s one more thing at this point?
“She left because Austin is her son? I don’t get it.”
“It’s complicated.”
Jacob and I have always been close. I’ve told him everything, and he’s been an open book to me. I don’t know if it’s because Declan always seemed so much older, so when I was with him, I tried to be cooler and more mature. When I was with Jacob, I was me. I could be calm, funny, and just laugh at life. Connor was the youngest, and he looked up to us, so we bossed him around.
And even though he’s the one I’m closest to, I don’t want to tell him anything. I want to scream, throw things, and leave this shithole of a town.
“Then uncomplicate it.”
“Well, why didn’t I think of that?” I ask sarcastically. “I mean . . . that’s just fucking brilliant. I should go and make things easier for Dev and me because you mention it. Now, how to take the situation and make it better . . . any ideas, genius?”
“For one, you could stop being a dick and grow up.”
I ignore him and lean back in the rocker, moving to the beat of my broken heart. Pain is my constant friend. It reminds me that it was real and I’m living through it.
After a few minutes of silence, Jacob speaks again. “Austin was upset.”
“So am I.”
“When we were sitting in the car, he just kept asking why you couldn’t be his dad.”
I blow out a deep breath. “Because I don’t deserve the kid.”
“You don’t deserve Devney either right now. In fact, the only thing you should get is punched in the face.”
“Try me,” I taunt him.
He laughs with a shake of his head. “Yeah right, pretty boy. We all know you’re not a fighter. Back to the issue of why you are a fucking idiot.” I groan, wishing I had Declan’s temper or Connor’s right hook. “Want to explain why you let her go?” Jacob asks with a bit of annoyance in his tone.
“I didn’tlether do anything. I tried to salvage it, but she was intent on going.”
“Right.” He nods. “I see. Makes total sense. When she was standing there crying it seemed like she was really excited about it. I hope my exit from this town is the same.”
He doesn’t see anything, and I might kill him. “At least now when you move back in a few weeks, you can stay in the house. Hell, go get your shit now because I can’t stay here.”
It’s too much of Devney, and I’ve had enough heartbreak. She is everywhere in this house. The scent of her shampoo lingers in the shower, her laugh echoes in the kitchen, and her warmth is all over the bedroom. Only it’s just my imagination because, not even twenty-four hours after we returned from Tampa, she left.
It’s as though everything we shared disappeared with the dust from her tires.
“You’re not a quitter, Sean. All the things that have come your way, you’ve found a way through.”
“I can’t make her love me.”
He shrugs. “I don’t think that’s her problem.”
I lean back in the rocking chair, not giving a shit that it’s fucking freezing outside, I feel nothing. The numbness is welcome.
