Page 103 of The One for Me
“We shouldn’t have to. This should never have been how it went.”
She nods and glances back through the blinds. “I shouldn’t have to bury my son.” Mom turns to me smiling softly. “And I’m glad you don’t have to know what it’s like to do it either. Trust your heart, Devney.” She kisses my cheek and then walks out toward the nurses’ station. I stand, stunned and unable to move because we just had a conversation that didn’t end with an argument and she defended Sean.
I know that he’s good to me, but he always has been.
I’ve never had to worry when he’s around because Sean just . . . does.
It doesn’t mean that things will be possible for us now. More than ever, I have to take this time to consider the future. We can’t make life-changing decisions when nothing about our life is secure.
The nurse exits. “He’s doing well. We’ll have him ready for discharge early tomorrow.”
“Thank you.”
Trepidation fills my stomach, and there’s a sick feeling in my throat. Tomorrow we have to go home and start this new journey, and I don’t know how to navigate it. Austin and I have had the most amazing relationship because my place in his life has always been clear to him. I was his aunt. I was fun, took him places, bought him things, and was a comfort. Now, I’m a parent.
Jasper always joked that I got the good end of the deal, and I did. I was a part of his life in the best way. The dynamic has to change, and I wish I had him to tell me what to do.
But he’s gone, and I have to figure it out. I’m not a little girl anymore, and they trusted me to raise him if they were gone.
I push open the door, and Austin looks up. “Are you feeling okay?” I ask.
“It hurts.”
“It’s going to.”
His eyes well with tears. “I miss them.”
“I do too,” I say as I cup his face in my palm. “I miss them so much.”
“The doctor said I can go home tomorrow.”
“Yes, do you . . . do you know where you’d like to go?” My voice trembles. “I can move into your house so you don’t have to leave.”
He shakes his head quickly. “I don’t want to go there.”
“Why not?”
Austin wipes at his face. “Because they’re not there.”
Oh, my heart can only break so much more. “Do you want to go to Sean’s?”
He turns to me, tearful eyes hopeful for the first time since he woke up from surgery. “Can we?”
“Of course you can,” Sean’s voice fills the room with authority. I turn to stare at him as he comes toward us. “If that’s okay with your aunt.”
Austin’s eyes brighten. “I would really rather go to his house.”
I also think this would’ve been the answer if I asked him two weeks ago. Still, I hear my mother’s words in my head about trusting my heart.
“All right, but we’re going to have to go back at some point.” Like when Sean goes back to Florida.
“I know.”
Sean rests a hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “We’ll figure it out—together.”
I try not to let myself feel the emotions, but they’re impossible to ignore, so I lean my head against his chest and let his strength fill me.
He’s got me, and he won’t let me fall.
