Page 100 of The One for Me
“We see that.”
“I’m really fucking upset. No, fuck that! I’m . . . I’m done!”
Connor steps closer. “I’m going to assume there’s more than just Jasper and Hazel dying. You look like a train wreck, and it’s better to talk to us, let us be your punching bag for the anger you got rolling around in your head.”
When the hell did my younger brother become like this? If I weren’t so close to losing my fucking mind, I might just be impressed.
I’m not sure how much to say. I don’t know what Devney told anyone, and I won’t betray her. So, I’ll explain the facts and leave out the whole secret child part.
“Devney is going to be Austin’s legal guardian. We had . . . plans.”
“What plans?” Dec asks as he sits. Gone is the asshole attitude and in comes all the concern.
“We were going to go back to Florida together. At least, that was the goal. She and I were happy. So fucking happy that it was like the entire world made sense, and now, nothing does.”
“Nothing is that bleak, brother.”
I look at Declan and sigh. “Isn’t it? What the hell choice does she have? She can’t be like, sorry kid, I know your life is here, family, friends, and the remains of your parents, but I love this guy here so we’re moving.”
Connor nods. “You have to think of what’s best for him now.”
“I know that.”
“I’m not saying you don’t, Sean. Don’t misinterpret what I’m saying.” Connor claps his hand on my shoulder. “I’m empathizing with you. When Ellie . . . well, when things happened, it was the same issue for me. All of a sudden I had this little girl who I was responsible for. Hadley needed a hero, and so does Austin.”
There lies the problem. “I’m not a fucking hero.”
Declan shakes his head. “The hell you’re not. You’re more of a hero than any one of us—well, maybe not more than the actual war hero here, but still. Do you know how many kids look up to you?Especiallyto a kid like Austin. You’re on the posters on their walls and the cards they trade.”
Maybe that’s the case, but I’m also the guy who wants nothing more than to wrap Devney up and take her away. That isn’t the man he needs to look up to.
“I’m not . . .” I start, but I can’t say it. The truth is, yes, I want to take her away and keep her, but I never would if it means having to hurt her or Austin that way. The last thing in the world I want is to cause her any heartache.
I want to be her salvation, not her destruction.
“You’re not?” Dec urges.
“I’m not even sure what to do.”
Connor releases a heavy breath. “You do the best you can. You give that kid stability and an outlet. You love Devney through it all.”
They’re missing the point. I can do all that, but the ending will still be the same. I can’t rewrite the story. We all see the way it’s going to go, and there is no happily ever after here. It’s a fucking tragedy.
“And then I leave? How the fuck does that make sense? I love her. She loves me. I fall for the kid who has done nothing wrong and then get on a plane and head back to Florida? That makes things better?”
Both of my brothers look at me and then to the other. Declan is the one who speaks first. “You know, there’s nothing saying that she won’t go at the end. You have what? Just under three months to be the man she and Austin need.”
My fingers pinch the bridge of my nose, and the weight resting on my shoulders gets heavier. “I’m glad you both have faith in me because I’m not so confident. I love Devney and the next three months are only going to make it harder to leave her. And you can’t convince me that she’ll ever choose me over Austin’s welfare.”
Declan huffs. “And you’d ever ask her to?”
“God no!”
“Exactly! So don’t tell me that you’re suddenly aware of what she’ll do. You’re not a mind reader, you’re a guy, and a pretty dumb one at that.”
I flip him off, and then Connor starts in.
“Listen, I thought I had all the answers with Ellie. I was so sure of what would happen and what I’d do if that happened, but the truth is, we know nothing. Declan definitely doesn’t know a damn thing.” I agree on that one. “My point is that, right now, you guys are going through a huge thing. Her brother and sister-in-law died, she’s now the guardian of a nine-year-old who is sure to be pissed off about losing his parents and guilty as fuck because he lived when they didn’t.”
