Page 81 of Fight for Me
I glare at Connor. Him and his big freaking mouth. “I’ve been here.”
“Where? I haven’t seen you or Syd since you asked to cut in.”
Jacob just became my least favorite brother.
Sean glances at Connor who raises his hands up. “Don’t ask me. It’s up to Declan to tell you that he and Sydney went back to his tiny house and screwed each other’s brains out and then he let her leave. I mean, it would be really rude of me to tell you that.”
“I hate you all and if it weren’t your wedding, I’d beat you.”
Jacob laughs while shaking his head. “Man, you really are an idiot.”
“I know this,” I admit. The three of them watch me. “What?”
Connor rubs his jaw. “It’s just that you’ve always been the one who was so sure of your decisions.”
When it comes to Sydney, I don’t ever feel sure. It’s as though we’re on two different levels and I’ve never been equal to her. She’s better than me in every way. Now, it’s all so damn complicated. We’re going to have a kid, which I never thought was going to happen for me.
If I give in, let myself love her, and it doesn’t work out … I won’t recover. For so long, I’ve fought against ever seeing a future other than my job. Now, all of it has changed.
“I don’t know that I’ve ever been sure, Connor. I’ve just made the choice and lived with it.”
Sean huffs. “Except where Syd is concerned. Look, Dec, we’re not stupid kids anymore. All of us have been living in the past.”
“What made her leave after your interlude?” Jacob asks, eying me more closely.
“I told her everything.”
“Everything?” Sean asks.
Connor rests his hand on Sean’s shoulder. “Yes, the accident, how it happened, and why we all left town. It was the right thing to do. No matter what, it affected all of us, including Syd.”
I look at my brother, thankful to have him as a part of my family.
“So, she didn’t take it well?” Jacob’s voice is full of curiosity.
I sigh. “More like I didn’t handle it well.”
The three of them all chuckle. “There’s a shock,” Sean digs at me.
“There’s more, but, I can’t get into it now.”
Today is for Connor, and I’ve already taken up too much of it. “Besides, Ellie is shooting daggers at us as we all stand out here.”
“Everyone smile,” Jacob says as he lifts his hand to wave. The three of us all mimic him.
Connor speaks through his smile. “I’m a dead man.”
“You sure are,” Sean agrees.
“We look like fools,” I say. The four of us are waving and smiling as though we’re at a damn parade.
Ellie shakes her head and walks to another guest. Then the three of them turn back to me. Connor speaking first. “We may look like fools, but you’re acting like one. Go to her tomorrow and fix it.”
And then he walks back to his wife, kisses her temple and a pang of jealousy so strong nearly drops me to my knees.
I want that. Right there. I want it all.
* * *
