Page 66 of Fight for Me
He’s so delusional. Neither of them has ever had anything serious enough to scare the other. They date, sometimes even for longer than I ever could handle it, but in the end, there’s always something wrong with the other person.
It allows them to keep up their bullshit and remain unattached in case the other finds the courage.
“I could give Syd love advice if I knew it would never matter.”
“All right, asshole, do this for me.” Sean’s voice is hard, and I know I’m pissing him off. “Think about Sydney with a guy—any guy—and tell me that you could give her pointers on how to make him happy.”
Rage at another man that doesn’t exist claws at me. My hands start to sweat and bile begins to rise in my throat. This reaction is exactly why I never think about this shit. She’s mine, and I would do anything for her, including spend millions to buy her farm without her knowing. The tightness in my throat makes it hard to breathe, and I hate my brother for making me even entertain the thought.
“Fair enough.”
“That’s what I thought.” He laughs once. “Imagine loving her the way you do and trying to help her work on shit with some idiot. It wouldn’t happen. No matter how strong you try to tell yourself that you are.”
“I also haven’t ever denied loving her. I know what it feels like to have her, to see her eyes on mine and know she loves me. It’s a different thing, Sean. I’m not saying you can’t put your feelings aside. We all know you’re a master at it.”
“I’m not a master at it. I just don’t want to fight all the time. We had enough of that in our childhood, I’d like to have some damn peace.”
“There is no peace here,” I say and then pinch the bridge of my nose.
Sean goes quiet for a second. “You could have peace, Dec. The war inside you has nothing to do with Sugarloaf. It has to do with regret. We all thought we’d be like Dad so we purposely did everything opposite. We didn’t get married, didn’t have kids, didn’t allow ourselves to put down roots or start a family. And in the end, for all we know, he died happy. And look at us.”
Yeah, look at us. I’m in fucking agony each time I see Sydney.
“Are you unhappy?” I ask.
“I don’t know. I love baseball and I have a great life, but … sure, there’s room for more. We’re moving off this topic.” Sean leaves no room for debate. “I’ll be back next week for the wedding, and hopefully, I’ll have some answers about my knee. So far though, it looks like it’s nothing and I’ll be back out there for the next series.”
“Good, I guess it looked worse than it was.”
“Yeah, thank God.”
My head is a mess, but the last thing I want is my brother to be unhappy. “Look, I just want to say one more thing. It may be too late for me, but it’s not for you to find someone. You’re a good guy, and I know that kids and a wife are something you’ve always wanted.”
Sean is quiet for a minute. “And why is it too late for you?”
I glance out toward the field that divides me from what I want most in this world and grip the windowsill. “Because I lost the only person who could ever be worth it, but I’m not good enough for her. She’s leaving and I have to let her go.”
“And that’s where you’re a fool. That woman thinks you’re more than enough. Maybe it’s time you start believing it yourself.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Sydney
“That’s ... that’s a great offer, right?” I look at Devney, who’s reading the email from Milo over my shoulder.
“It’s what you wanted.”
This one is the full asking price, which is less than the one I got from the developer, but Milo knows the buyer personally. He sent over the offer, and I’m in shock. The buyer wishes to remain anonymous because the person is influential, but whoever it is, is looking for a quaint home in the country with land for days. Apparently, they want a respite from the city life where their cows can roam and they can work.
“Do you think it’s someone famous?” Devney asks.
“I mean, it makes sense.”
She beams. “What if it’s Emily Young and her husband? She was just here, right? She could’ve fallen in love with our little town and wants to make her next big hit in Sugarloaf.”
It could be. I don’t know if Milo knows her personally, but it makes sense. “I don’t know, should I care? It’s exactly what I wanted. You know? Like, this is the kind of thing I hoped for. Not a builder who would come in and tear up the land and build strip malls or condos.”
Devney scratches the side of her head and then moves her lips side to side.
