Page 47 of Fight for Me
I nod. “She was yours, I was hers, and when I gave her up ...” I can’t finish the sentence because I feel like a fool.
Jimmy wouldn’t have turned me out. He would’ve listened, probably talked some sense into me, and maybe that was why I didn’t do it. I didn’t need reason and rationale—I needed out. I had to save the people I loved the only way I knew how.
He sits at the table, holding his mug. “Sit, Son.”
I do as he asks.
“A man doesn’t walk away from the things he loves easily, which is why I think it breaks Sydney’s heart so damn much that her father did. She knows that if he loved her as much as he should’ve, he’d have fought for her. That’s why it broke her to pieces when you left because she knew you loved her. She knew it in her bones. That girl would sit up in that window and wait to see if you’d come back.”
“I couldn’t.”
He puts his hand up. “You could’ve, but you chose not to.”
“It feels the same,” I admit.
“Maybe so, but you’re a grown man now, and you can sling your bullshit wherever you want, but not at me. I throw it back.”
I grin and nod. “Understood. My point is that leaving Sydney wasn’t easy for me. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was what needed to be done to protect everyone in my life.”
“Your father did a number on you boys too, Declan. He twisted you all up, made you doubt yourselves, and forced you to take on a role that you weren’t meant to do. You weren’t those boys’ father. You are their brother, and he took that from you.”
Yes, he did, but I didn’t feel like I was being robbed. I was able to do for my brothers what no one else could do for me. I protected them. I gave them a chance by getting out of this town.
As much as the accident stole from us, it gave us a lot too. I started my company, Sean is a professional baseball player, Jacob is an actor, and Connor found all he wanted.
“I did what my mother asked me to on her deathbed.”
“And I have no doubt she’s proud of you.”
I wish I felt the same. If anything, I think my mother is saddened by what we all have become. She would’ve wanted us to have people in our lives to love and cherish. She believed that family was everything. While we’ve held up her memory by being loyal to the brotherhood, we haven’t lived the way she’d have wanted.
“Now, kissing a girl is a big deal, Declan Arrowood.” Mom stands there scowling at me. “You better not do anything with Sydney until you’re much older.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
All because my stupid brother couldn’t keep his mouth shut. Sydney was crying at school today, and I told her if she didn’t quit, I was going to kiss her. I already told her I’d love her forever, and while that stopped her tears for a minute, she started right back up again.
Girls are always crying.
I can’t handle it.
“I mean it, you might think you love that girl, but I won’t be okay with knowing you aren’t treating her right. You’re going to wait until you’re both grown and know what adult choices are.”
I release a heavy sigh, thinking of how I’m going to pay Sean back for this. She would’ve never heard us, but he has a big mouth and yelled that I kissed a girl.
Which I didn’t ... not yet anyway.
“How long do I have to wait?”
Her eyes widen. “At least until you’re thirty!”
“Thirty? But ... that’s old!”
“Old enough to know that the only thing in this world that matters is how you love someone else. It’s not about kissing and all that. It’s about giving your heart to someone and always doing what’s best for them. I want you to have that, Declan. To know a love so pure and true that you’d give anything for her. You’re too young to know if Sydney is that girl.”
That’s where she’s wrong. “I know it in my heart, Mom. She’s the girl I will always love.”
She smiles softly and then touches my face. “Then you hold onto that, Declan.” Mom places her hand on my chest, right over my heart. “Give her this, and you’ll have everything you could ever want. A life without love isn’t living, it’s just existing and you were destined to live.”
