Page 108 of Fight for Me
Chapter Thirty-Four
Sydney
“Good afternoon, gorgeous,” Declan says as he enters the room. His smile is bright, and he has another bouquet of flowers.
This time, it’s hydrangeas—my favorite.
“Good evening is more like it.”
He leans over and kisses my forehead before putting the flowers next to the other ones he brought. “When you bought the farm, did you also purchase a florist shop?”
“No, why?”
I look over to the row of flowers on the ledge by the window. One is from Connor and Ellie, one is from Jacob, and the othertwelveare from Declan.
He laughs. “I just remember you liked flowers.”
“I do, but we’re good now.”
“Noted.”
He throws out the three dead bouquets and then sits inhischair. He left for a few hours to go home, get clean clothes, and get some work files he needed. When I told him he didn’t have to return, he laughed as though I were an idiot and said he’d see me soon.
Soon is now, and I’m in a terrible mood.
The thing is that I missed him.
Even with all his hovering and driving me nuts, I don’t feel alone when he’s here. Sierra is being a mom and doing all the things she neglected when I was in danger, my mother had to go back to work, and everyone else’s lives go on. Which I get, but … I felt the loss of him.
It was so great that I ached.
And then I decided I hated him and myself for being like this again.
Here I am, trying so hard to go slow, feel my way around this situation so I don’t trip and face-plant, and the first second I have to deal with his absence, I crumble.
I’m pathetic and so deeply in love with the man, it isn’t normal.
The doctor knocks on the door and smiles as he looks at the two of us. “Good, you’re both here. I’d like to do another ultrasound, make sure that things with the baby are okay, and if they are, we can start discussing getting you out of here.”
It feels as though the sun is shining for the first time since I opened my eyes. I can see my bean and then hopefully go home.
“Really?” Declan’s voice rises with excitement. “We can see him?”
He missed the first one. Where I was able to see this precious life in my womb.
“Yup,” he says with a grin. “I put the order in and you guys should have someone come get you very soon.”
Declan’s fingers entwine with mine, and he stands as the doctor leaves. “I missed it.”
“Missed what?”
He looks at me, regret and shame in his green eyes. “The first one, when it mattered.”
We have always faced adversity. Nothing in our relationship or lives has come easily, I’ve seen that, but there is little that can be done about what happened. He’s here now. He loves me, and I have to find a way to trust that.
The choice is either dwell on what we haven’t had or forge a new path.
I think about Declan’s motto.
