Page 89 of All I Ask
Both of us continue to look at each other, questions, answers, and more questions passing between us.
“Do you want to take a walk?” he asks, pulling his hand back and breaking the spell we were under.
I nod without saying a word.
Derek stands, his hand extended to help me up. My fingers touch his palm, and that calm rushes over me again and I realize I was such a fool to think I could do one date and not come out unscathed.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Teagan
Present
I should’ve known this is where he’d want to go.
We pull up to the far end of the beach where we would meet all the time. In every way, this is our spot. The place where two kids found someone who would forever be a part of the other.
“You wanted to walk here instead of the town we were just in?” I ask as I exit my car.
“Was there any other option?”
I shake my head. “No. This is probably exactly the best place.”
Derek walks over with a blanket and takes my hand in his. “Come on.”
We make our way to the shore, set up a cozy spot, and sit. Twenty years ago, I would’ve sat in front of him, his arms around my middle, my head resting on his chest as I stared out at the sea, but now, we’re beside each other.
“Do you remember the night you told me you were pregnant?”
I release a half laugh because it wasn’t funny. I was more afraid of him than of my parents. Disappointing him was the last thing I wanted to do. Not to mention, I was horrified it happened.
“I don’t know that I could forget. I threw up four times before I saw you.”
“Well, you were pregnant.”
“It was nerves.”
He shifts so our shoulders are touching. “I felt so many things that day, it was really the first time I started to wonder if what I felt for you was more than friendship.”
“That was the day?”
“I was so pissed because I kept thinking it shouldn’t be Keith. He didn’t deserve to have that piece of you. I was beyond angry and couldn’t wrap my head around why. Which pissed me off further.”
I laugh. “Sounds like you.”
He wasn’t the only one pissed. I had the same emotions because I didn’t want to have a baby with Keith. I didn’t even want to be with him, but I was young and stupid. My feelings for Derek were growing by that point, and I knew he was who I loved, I just didn’t know how to express that.
Then I found out I was pregnant and it felt like I’d missed that chance.
“Yeah, but then…”
“Then you had Meghan.”
As angry or hurt as I was, I never told him how I felt. It wasn’t like he knew I was in love with him, but God, I couldn’t handle it.
I don’t know that it makes any of this any easier, but it’s the truth.
“I really didn’t know what I was feeling.”
