Page 55 of All I Ask
Maybe they’re right. Maybe I need to try and see if there’s someone out there. If I want to move past this silliness with my old feelings coming back, this would be a good way to start.
I release a heavy sigh and nod. “I promise.”
“Good.” I see the pride in Nina’s eyes.
Chastity wraps her arms around me and squeezes. “I want you to be happy, Mom.”
I look down at her, my heart filled with so much love for this girl who has brought me so many unexpected changes that have fulfilled me in so many ways. “You make me happy, Titty.”
We all burst out laughing and she rolls her eyes. “Never call me that again.”
I shrug. I can’t let her have all the fun. Between these two it’s a wonder I haven’t pulled all my hair out. All I need is my mother to complete the party.
“Girls!” She yells from the back.
Jesus. I’m being punished for my past sins, that’s all I’ve got.
“Talk about looking the Devil in the eye…”
“Be nice,” Chastity warns me as though I’m the kid.
Mom and I have barely spoken since my outburst at dinner. It’s been very…polite. My father probably laid into her and forced her to back off.
I’ve wondered, if they knew the truth about why Keith relinquished his rights, would their opinion of me change? I’m not sure and that keeps me playing the role they’ve cast me as and finding solace in my choice. I never want my daughter to be ashamed that I’m her mother. Her father is in a public role and that tape would’ve made headlines. She lives in a small town that would chew on the scandal for years. People might talk about me now, but Chastity would never escape that level of embarrassment.
“I’m always nice.”
Nina snorts. “We’re back here, Mrs. B.”
“There you are.” She sighs as though she’d searched high and low. “I have some new furniture in the truck that needs to be unloaded.”
“Mom, we’re running out of room.”
“Then we’ll have to make room.”
Great. She should star on an episode ofHoarders. The only excuse she has is that she sells her junk.
We all start to move toward the front, but she grabs my arm. “You stay with me.”
“I should help—”
“They can manage, we need to talk.”
Mom tosses her coat on the back of the chair and motions for me to sit.
“We don’t have to do this. All is fine in our world, Mother.”
“I think we do.”
In other words: I have no choice.
I don’t doubt that she loves me, but I don’t think she likes me. It’s hard because years ago, I was her pride and joy. When you go from being loved so much it’s stifling to being the shit on someone’s shoes, it’s heartbreaking. I want her to see that I’m not a total disappointment. Chastity is my one great thing.
“I’m sorry about the other night.”
My jaw falls slack as I try to decide if this is reality or not. “You’re what?”
“Don’t be so dramatic, Teagan. I’m sorry that I said those things.”
