Page 53 of All I Ask
It eats me alive a little bit knowing she spends so much time with Derek. Each day, she heads there, works with him, and then comes here to tell me how much she likes him.
I’m jealous that my daughter is hanging out with a man I want to see, which makes me the worst mother ever. I’m the picture-perfect image of maturity.
“He’s a good guy.”
“You two were best friends, right?”
I nod. “Once upon a time.”
“What happened?”
I would throw myself off a building to avoid this conversation.
“Nothing. We drifted apart.”
Chastity nods. “Sad that it happened, since he’s pretty cool. Even if he was responsible for creating Satan’s spawn.”
I burst out laughing. “You’re so dramatic. You also have no idea what that girl went through.”
I watch my daughter’s eyes narrow in disgust. I know she hates Everly, and rightfully so, but exercising compassion is never a bad thing.
“So that gives her the right to be nasty to me?”
“Of course not, but I don’t think she’s inherently mean.”
“I know what it’s like to only have one parent and I don’t treat others that way.” That statement wasn’t meant to be a dig at me. I know this. I can rationalize it, but it still bugs me that she doesn’t know the love of two parents.
“Do you think that’s because you never knew what it was like?” Nina asks.
“I also don’t know what poop tastes like, but I know I don’t want to try it.”
“Chas, that’s not exactly what we’re…”
“All I’m saying is just because you got knocked up with me from that guy who wanted nothing to do with either of us, doesn’t mean she gets to make bad choices too.”
“So I made a bad choice?” I ask.
“Mom,” Chastity says and moves toward me.
“No, no,” I tell her with my hand up. “I get it. Mean girls for the win, right?”
Nina touches her arm. “I think what your mother is saying is that Everly’s mother was killed in front of her. We know that your father is…well…but you didn’t know what it was like to have him, lose him, and then be taken from all you know.”
I need to send Nina a gift for that one. We would’ve headed down a very different road had she not intervened. I refocus on the issue instead of on my own issues. “Exactly, being nice to her is more of a statement about you than her.”
Chastity shakes her head with an eye roll. “And I would feel bad if she didn’t think making me cry was so much fun. If she was more like her dad, I wouldn’t hate her.”
There’s no point in going on because she’s right. However, I think that Everly’s in deep pain, and lashing out is the only way to get through it.
“Speaking of, have you seen Derek lately?” Nina asks in a seemingly nonchalant way that isn’t at all nonchalant.
She knows damn well I haven’t. “Nope.”
“Really? I saw him yesterday and he mentioned you. He was saying something about coming by to catch up.”
I glare at her. “I haven’t seen or heard from him, but I didn’t expect to.”
Nina nods with a smile. “I see. Well, in this town it’s bound to happen.”
