Page 44 of All I Ask
“Maybe.”
“No,” I tell her, wanting her to understand. “It wasn’t. I should’ve been there for you too. You needed me and I failed you.”
So many times I wanted to ask my parents about her, but I didn’t. I wasn’t strong enough to know she wasn’t okay, so I made myself believe she was happy, married to someone, raising their kids together. I would’ve never stayed away had I heard otherwise.
“I failed myself,” Teagan says as she sits on the ugly sofa that’s still here.
I move over and sit beside her. “I think we both had a part in our own destruction.”
She sniffs. “I guess we did.”
“How did we get here?”
“I have no idea,” Teagan confesses.
“This wasn’t going to be us. We were better than this. We were supposed to be indestructible.”
“No, we could’ve been that, but I was scared and stupid. Neither of us were willing to see the truth until it was too late. And then I got pregnant.”
“Why did you stay with Keith, Teagan? Why didn’t you end things?”
She turns to look at me, tears filling her beautiful green eyes. “I thought if I held on to him, then I could let you go. In the end, he not only threw me away, but he cost me you. Funny how that worked, huh?”
“I don’t think anything regarding Keith is funny.”
“I would agree with you there. He made his choices, though.” Teagan sighs and wipes her eyes. “He gave up the best thing he ever did in his miserable life. Chastity is bigger and better than any dream he could’ve had. He walked away from her without ever understanding what a gift having a child is.”
Losing Meghan was horrific, but the fear I felt knowing Everly was in the car was—crippling. It was a terror like I’d never known. Thinking I could’ve lost them both was too much to even comprehend.
It made me feel sick to have any relief at the time of the accident, but all I kept thinking was, thank God it wasn’t Everly.
For a father to give that up willingly, is beyond my understanding.
It goes to show what an asshole Keith was. He cared about only himself and football. Teagan knew it, and it never made sense to me why she stayed with him.
But it was irrelevant because in the end, we made our choices and have to accept them.
“I really did come over here to apologize. Not to drum up old shit and fight.”
Teagan shakes her head with a smile. “Well, you’ve always sucked at apologies.”
“And you sucked at accepting them.”
Maybe she and I will find a new way to coexist and maybe I can have my best friend back because I could sure use her.
Chapter Sixteen
Teagan
Present
“Istillwant to be homeschooled,” Chastity announces at dinner…with my parents. She’s been a bear the last four days and I can only assume it’s because of Everly and whoever she’s found for her squad of bitches.
“Well, I love you, but not that much,” I say as I shove a forkful of spaghetti into my mouth. “We’ve already had this talk and my stance hasn’t changed.”
“Why would you want to be homeschooled?” Mom asks, unable to stop herself from seizing the opportunity to pry.
“Because I hate the stupid girls there! I’m not going back.”
