Page 135 of All I Ask
Derek’s hands wrap around my arms, holding me tightly. “You are worthy of everything, and if I ever made you feel less…”
“No! That’s just it, it was never you. It’s me! It’s my choices and you asked me what I want, and I want it all. I want to paint and make money. I want to be with you and Everly. I want us to figure our shit out and live in that house. All my life I’ve waited for you, and now…”
Now I have to choose. Do I want love or do I want to finally feel as though I’ve accomplished something other than screwing up?
“You don’t have to explain it.” He lifts his hand, brushing the hair out of my eyes. “You have to take this, baby. Not because I want you to leave. Not because I don’t love you, but because I love you. I love you enough to wait. I love you enough to let you go because I know”—his voice is filled with determination—“Iknowyou’ll come back to me.”
My lip trembles and I let the tears flow. “I don’t want to lose you, Derek.”
“Then don’t. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here when you’ve accomplished what you need to. I know you feel like you’ve waited your whole life for us, but believe me, I have too. I’ve loved you, lost you, and I’ll be damned to ever lose you again.”
Derek doesn’t give me a chance to respond, he crushes his lips to mine and I taste my tears along with his vow.
***
“Do you really have to go?” Nina asks as she helps pack my suitcase.
“Please don’t you start.”
I’ve cried more in the last seventy-two hours than I have in years. My flight is at six in the morning. Tim is going to meet me at the airport and show me the condo they’ve rented for me and Chastity.
“I’m sad. I’m going to be stuck in this town without my favorite angry person.”
I laugh and roll my eyes. “You could come with me…”
“And leave all this?” Nina waves her arms in the air. “No, honey, I’m meant to live and die in this town. But I’m proud of you.”
Dropping the sweater in the bag I rush over and wrap my arms around her. “I’m going to miss you so much.”
“I’m going to miss you more.”
Nina pulls back and shakes her head. “Enough of that. Now, is Chastity with your mother?”
This is another reason I’m struggling. She has another two weeks of school before break, which is when she’ll come down. Derek and Everly are going to bring her and spend time with me. I’ve just never been away from her. A night here or there, but nothing like this.
“I dropped her off an hour ago so she can settle in a bit.”
“She’ll be fine.”
I laugh. “I know, it’s me I worry about.”
“You have no idea the strength you have inside of you. In the midst of dealing with Keith’s bullshit, you raised an amazing child. You’ve persevered when many would’ve collapsed. Don’t sell yourself short, my friend. I am so proud of you.”
“So am I.” Derek’s voice cuts in as I clutch my chest.
“Derek!”
“You didn’t think we weren’t going to spend our last night together, did you?”
“Where’s Everly?”
“She’s perfectly capable of staying home with my parents.”
“And on that note.” Nina claps her hands. “I’m going to head out and let you two…well, do what you do.” She comes over to me, and the tears come again. “Don’t you cry, Teagan Berkeley, don’t you dare. You’re doing something magnificent and I’m so happy for you.”
Nina has been my rock over the years. I love her heart and I’m going to miss our daily talks. “This is so damn hard.”
She grabs my hand and squeezes. “The things that are worth doing aren’t meant to be easy. Call me when you’re settled?”
