Page 134 of All I Ask
“For how long?”
I close my eyes, not able to look at him because I can’t watch him hurt. “At least a year.”
“A year?”
That’s not the whole truth. I would have to go for more than that, and if I move Chastity to Florida, I’m not going to move her again. “I don’t know because it would be a move and I don’t know that I would…”
“Come back.”
Is he asking me or finishing my sentence? Either way, I know the sentiment. “It would be a lot to move down with Chastity temporarily.”
“And you can’t paint from here?”
I sigh. “They need me there for the gala and the opening, there’s press, and a tour? It’s all so much right now, but he requested that I relocate until at least the first six months of the exhibit have finished. Plus, I need to paint more—a lot more, and it would be easier to paint from their beach. He has these plans, it’s not just to sell my art, it’s all about exposure and using the social media buzz to launch a long-lasting career. He wants a lot of photos of me painting and hosting events at the exhibit. It’s a lot of networking, I guess.”
“I see.” Derek’s voice is filled with disappointment.
“I have to take this.”
His eyes meet mine. “I know you do.”
“Ever since I found out I was pregnant with Chastity, my life has been hard. Really freaking hard. I’ve sacrificed everything, lost everything, and now, it’s like someone gave me a hand. If I swat it away, I’ll regret it forever.”
This is the first time that someone has chosen me the first time around. It’s a chance to stand on my own, be something more than an assistant manager in my parents’ antique store. If I were to marry Derek, I’d go from being my parents’ burden to his. Even if he never said it, that’s how I’d feel.
Now, I can be my own woman. I can show Chastity that I’m not a college dropout who couldn’t do anything with her life.
The only thing holding me back is him.
I have to give up the most incredible opportunity or lose the most incredible man.
Life isn’t fair sometimes.
“This is your chance, baby.”
It is. “But that means I have to give you up.” I choke back a sob.
“Why?”
“Because I have to move to freaking Florida.” After I got off the phone with Tim, I asked Chastity what she wanted, and she was ready to pack tonight. I know she wants out of here. Hell, I want out of here, but I want Derek too.
“I’m not saying it won’t be hard,” Derek turns away. “I don’t know how the fuck we’ll manage, but we’ll do long-distance. We’ll make it work.”
“I wish you could come with me.”
There are a hundred reasons why he can’t. Everly, his father, the house he bought, and the fact that we are new, are just a few. How can I possibly leave?
“You know I can’t.”
I walk closer, placing my hand on his chest. “I know, just as you know I can’t turn this down. For the first time, Derek, I won’t be nothing.”
“You were never nothing.”
“No, I am. I have nothing to offer you.”
He steps back. “You’re all I want. I don’t need you to offer me anything.”
“Please, listen.” I release a deep sigh and try to assemble my thoughts. “I’ve always wanted more. You showed me once that I could have more, and since then, I’ve been searching for it. I never shared those paintings because I’ve failed at every facet of my life. I’ve been lacking in one area or another, and I couldn’t handle one more thing, something I love, to be…unworthy.”
