Page 14 of Come Back for Me
“How long do we have to decide?” Declan asks, the ever responsible one who has no doubt formed a plan on how to handle this.
“Three days to decide, and someone has to be in the house within thirty,” he states matter-of-factly.
Declan stands, and the rest of us follow. “We’ll see you in three days with a decision.”
Chapter Five
Ellie
“I’m hungry,” Kevin slurs from the couch. “Make me something.”
I close my eyes, willing myself not to mouth back at him. It only makes it worse. I have to bide my time, be smart, and keep him as even-tempered as I can.
“Sure, is there anything you’d like in particular?”
He glares at me, his anger already starting to grow. “Food, Ellie. I want food.”
My throat goes dry, and I stand, forcing a smile that I hope will appease him. Once I get into the kitchen, I see Hadley at the table, working on her homework.
“Hi, sweetheart.”
“Hi, Mommy.”
I crouch next to her, pushing her brown hair, which is the same color as mine, back. “I want you to go play outside or stay in your room, okay?”
Her green eyes assess me, weighing what no seven-year-old should ever have to think about. “Is Daddy angry again?”
I nod. “He is, so I want you to stay out of his sight, okay?”
Disappointment flashes across her face, and I feel it in my soul. I’m letting her down. I’m failing my daughter in every way. If my mother and father were alive to see me, they’d weep. I’m not the girl they raised me to be, but I’m trying.
“Okay, Mommy. I won’t bother him.”
When did I become this woman?
When did I decide that it was okay for a man to treat me so? Was it when I married him, hoping I could love him enough to change him? Was it because my parents were killed the week before the wedding, and I was desperate for security? Was it when I found out I was pregnant a month after our marriage? Is this my punishment for lying for years about Hadley, suspecting that she isn’t Kevin’s daughter?
The wave of guilt is so intense that I worry I’ll drown in it.
Before Connor reappeared a week ago, it was an easy decision. I was married to Kevin. I wanted Hadley to beourchild because, in some part of my heart, I loved him and believed it was God’s way of forgiving me for that. I thought that, if we had a baby, it would be okay. He would change because of this beautiful life that was growing inside me.
And, for a while, he did. It was as though the guy I started dating in college was back.
He was kinder, more attentive, and I had so much hope brimming inside me I couldn’t breathe.
But a leopard doesn’t change its spots. The man, who I saw only glimpses of in the beginning, stopped hiding years ago, and I am going to be strong enough to get away.
Hadley packs up her things and then heads to the back door. “Can I see if Connor is home?”
I can’t take much more. “No, honey. Connor is a grown-up and he’ll probably be busy.”
“He said I could go to the tree house anytime.”
I’m not sure what tree house she’s talking about, but she seems very excited by this. “Hadley, you hurt your arm a week ago . . . you can’t be running around like that.”
“It doesn’t hurt and I won’t climb it.”
I don’t believe her, but at the same time, I can’t keep arguing with her or Kevin will get mad.
