Page 98 of Come Back for Me
I need to get it together.
He and his brother were already out when I got up this morning and I missed having coffee with Connor on the front porch. It’s become our morning ritual, and now my day feels off because we missed it.
Hadley was a whole other derailment this morning. Getting her up was almost impossible. She was slower than normal and had to ask a question every three seconds. It was a miracle I was able to get to work on time today.
The door opens, and Mrs. Symonds walks in. “Ready for today?”
No.
“Of course,” I answer instead.
“You don’t have to lie, I know my teachers dread me coming in, but this is an exciting observation, Ellie.”
It’s my last one. If I get through today with good remarks, it’s most likely they’ll offer me the permanent position. I’m really hoping that’s the case.
I’ve never had anything that allowed me choices. Having this job gives me an income that provides an independence I need. While Connor and Kevin may be nothing alike, it doesn’t mean I will ever be beholden to another man.
I want to love and be equal with Connor.
“I’m actually really ready for it and very hopeful that the outcome suits us both.”
She sits at that table and rests her hands on mine. “The last few months you’ve really blossomed. You’ve not only been smiling more than I think I’ve ever seen you do before but also your students are thriving. I never wanted to pry into your personal life, I make an effort not to do so with any of my teachers, but I want you to know that I’m relieved that you’re in a better place.”
“I am too. It’s sad it had to happen the way it did, but I’m happy now.”
“You know, Connor was one of my students,” she says with a wistful smile. “He was the sweetest of the Arrowood boys. That Jacob was a thorn in my side, but Connor was always the kindhearted one, even if he didn’t think he was.”
It isn’t hard to imagine what he was like back then. He was just eighteen years old, and I was too. We were barely adults, kids who had been forced to grow up rather quickly.
“He’s a good man.”
“It’s sad how those boys grew up. I knew their mom, she was such a wonderful woman, and their father loved her with a ferocity that was unparalleled to anything I’d ever seen before. When she died, he lost it. I remember trying to drop by once, and he was so drunk, I don’t think he knew his own name, let alone mine.”
I stay quiet, feeding on any information she’s willing to share. Connor and I talk about things, but asking him to go back in time is not something I want to do.
“Anyway . . .” She seems to remember herself. “I wish I had stepped in. We all saw the bruises, but back then, it wasn’t something teachers reported that often. At least not in a small town like this. So, we all kept quiet, remarked to each other about the tragedy that was the Arrowood brothers, and I’ve lived with the regrets ever since. It also taught me not to stay quiet when I see things.”
“More people need to speak up for those who can’t,” I say and hope she understands that she’s part of what forced me to wake up. “If it weren’t for the people who cared about me and Hadley, I don’t know that I’d be sitting here today.”
Mrs. Symonds wrings her hands together and sighs. “And that would’ve been a loss I never would have recovered from. I’m hoping today goes well, Ellie. I’d like for us to have more talks in the future.”
Her not-so-subtle hint makes me smile. It’s one more thing to be grateful about in my life.
“Me too.”
“I’ll see you in a bit, I need to go grab a cup of coffee.”
As soon as Mrs. Symonds leaves, I grab my phone and see a message from Sydney.
Sydney: Hey! I spoke with the judge and your divorce paperwork is being signed today! I should have a copy of the decree very soon.
My back hits the chair and a puff of air expels. It feels like it all happened so fast. Sydney appeared in court today for me, and since the divorce was uncontested and I didn’t want any of Kevin’s assets, the judge must’ve signed it.
I’m going to be divorced today.
I thought I would feel different, maybe even just a little sad. Not because I loved him and wanted things to work but because I failed to make the marriage work. In some recess of my mind, I had this belief I’d be like my parents were. Happy, in love, and wanting to raise a family, and I think that’s part of why I stayed even when things were so bad.
I wanted to be like them.
