Page 72 of Come Back for Me
“No, that’s . . .” I cover my face with my hands. “I’m not good at any of this, so please forget I said that.”
“Please explain,” he urges as we sit.
“The next time we’re together, I want it to be right. No husband, no secrets, no things that are hanging over our heads. I want you and me to be everything.”
He reaches his hand out over the table, and I place mine in it. “I told you that I’d wait forever for you, and I mean it. I feel like these eight years have been my training mission.”
I try to smile, but I feel stupid. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
“That I’m basically telling you we have to wait until my divorce is final.”
“Tell me this, can I kiss you?”
“Yes.”
“Can I hold you?”
I nod. “Of course.”
“Can we go on dates?”
“I hope we do.”
Connor smiles. “Then, until you’re ready for anything more, we’ll do just that. I’m not in a rush.”
“And what about when your six months are up?” I ask.
“Then we figure it out.”
I don’t know why I hoped for something else. It’s unfair of me to expect him to make promises of more, and I really am grateful he doesn’t. Connor tells me the truth—always. He’s honest with me, knowing that I can’t handle games.
“Okay, we figure it out,” I say in solidarity.
“Now, tonight, we’re on our first official date, and I plan to woo you.”
I lean back and extend my hand. “By all means, woo away.”
The dinner is great. Connor and I laugh, tell more stories of when we were younger, and talk about good times. We both steer clear of heavy topics and enjoy each other’s company. He had the bar serve us mozzarella sticks for an appetizer on plates he brought from home, cheeseburgers for the main course, and he had the fries separated to be our side dishes. It was cute, thoughtful, and absolutely perfect.
“Tell me about your parents,” Connor says as we sit, waiting for the desert.
“Not sure what to say. They were amazing, really wonderful. They died tragically, and it’s all still a mystery as to what happened.”
“A mystery?”
I nod. “They never found the car that hit them, so the case went cold.”
“I’m so sorry.” His voice is filled with empathy.
For the first time, I don’t feel quite so sad. It’s funny how healing happens in ways you don’t realize. Before, talking about them would make me depressed, but in this moment, I want to remember the good and not the bad. I’m tired of always going back to what it was like when they died.
“I’ve been stuck for so long and . . . I don’t know. I guess I forgot just how much my parents loved each other. It was sometimes almost gross to watch. My father was always kissing her.” I laugh once. “I remember one time I walked into the kitchen and he had her up against the wall. I was sixteen, so I fully knew what they were doing.”
Connor smiles. “I never saw any of that, thank God. To me, my mother died a born again virgin.”
He’s so stupid. “From what you’ve told me about your father’s undying love for her, I’m going to guess that isn’t true. Also, she had four boys in five years. That’s a lot of sex.”
