Page 68 of Come Back for Me
“How did she die?” I ask and immediately wish I could take it back.
I remember the pain in Connor’s eyes when he spoke of his mother, and I know my own when I think of mine. It’s hard to lose a parent. They created you, molded you into the person you are, and when they aren’t there any longer, it’s as though a piece of your whole existence is gone. I’ve grappled with losing both of mine in an instant. There was no goodbye or chance to say things we needed to. I have no closure, and I hope that Connor did get some, no matter how much it probably isn’t a comfort.
“Cancer. It was fast and it was fierce. We found out, and then it feels like I blinked and she was gone. My brothers and I were . . . a fucking mess, but my father, well,” his voice is soft and filled with pain, “we buried him alongside her that day only his body didn’t go into the hole. He was never the same, and neither was the life we thought we had.”
I reach out, taking his hand in mine. “I don’t know that any of us get back to the life we thought we had after tragedy strikes. Someone or something rips it away, and we’re left drifting.”
His eyes watch mine with an intensity that makes my stomach clench. “Are you still drifting, Ellie?”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t think I am.”
“Why not?”
“Because you won’t let me.”
He lifts his hand, cupping my cheek as he stares down at me. “Will you let me kiss you again?”
I’ve both wanted and avoided this moment. Equal parts of me being torn apart by desire and fear. I want to kiss him again, to feel his lips on mine and give myself over to the moment. Then I worry that, if I were to let myself hope for more and I lose him, it will break me even more than I already have been broken.
But my resolve is not that strong.
Resisting him is futile, and I’m only lying to myself when I say I want to resist. There’s nothing I want more than to be his.
So, I push my fear to the bottom and ask the only question left that matters. “Will you hurt me, Connor?”
“Never.”
And I believe him.
“Then, yes, I’ll let you kiss me.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Connor
Iwait just a beat in case she changes her mind. The first kiss was everything, but fear had me holding back, the grip I had on my restraint unyielding. This time, I don’t think I can hold back.
But I’ll try.
She’s everything I want and need, and she’s here. I want to pull her into my arms, kiss her until she forgets every bad thing that’s ever happened to her, and give her new memories filled with all the things she should’ve had.
I want it all, and I want it with her.
Slowly, I bring my other hand up and frame her face in my hands. The bruises that marred her skin a month ago are gone, leaving only her gorgeous blue eyes, which have no hint of fear in them. Each day, she heals a little more, and each day, I hope I show her the man I am.
I won’t hurt her. I won’t ever take what she isn’t willing to give. I will only cherish her because she’s a fucking angel.
Our lips move closer together, each breath given over to the moment. I feel the warmth of her body as she leans in.
“You’re everything I remembered and nothing I was prepared for,” I say right before I kiss her.
At first, I go slow, just letting our lips touch and not wanting to scare her with the insane desire I feel for her. I keep myself in check, using every ounce of training I’ve endured. Patience is what she needs, and it’s the last thing I feel when I’m this close to her.
Her hands slide up my back, causing the blanket to fall from her shoulders. And then I kiss her like I’ve wanted to. My tongue slides against hers, and the taste of her is enough to make me want to fucking die.
This is heaven.
This is why she’s an angel sent down to me.
