Page 53 of Come Back for Me
I feel awkward, but there’s obviously history between them. “That you two were together.”
Sydney rears back, her lips are parted, but there is a smile of amusement tugging at them. “Oh, no, it’s nothing like that. Connor is like a little brother to me. I dated his older idiot brother, Declan, from the time I was thirteen until the asshole left town and never returned. All of them are the same, though. Domineering, protective, and attractive. Oh, and stupidity runs in their veins.”
My body breathes a sigh of relief. I don’t know why since Connor and I are just friends who possibly have a child together, but it’s there.
“I’m sorry to assume.”
“Don’t be sorry.” She smiles, giving me a feeling of reassurance. “Are you okay to talk about this with me? I want to be sure you’re comfortable. If you worry I’ll betray you because I know Connor, I can promise you that not only is it illegal and I’d lose my license but also that I would never tell anyone what we spoke about, even if there weren’t that threat. Not to mention, it will bug him to no end and I would get far too much joy out of that.”
I’m not comfortable talking to anyone, but Sydney seems kind, and she was there that night. She isn’t looking at me with judgment, and that’s about the most I can ask for. “No, it’s not that, and I don’t think you would. I’m sure you can imagine that this is humiliating, and I...”
“You don’t have to feel that way with me.”
I wish it were that simple. I’d like for all of this to be a bad dream I’m about to wake up from. “I’m okay. I want this over with.”
“I can understand that. I know you’ve been through a lot and this will be no different. Right now we have the temporary order of protection for both you and Hadley, which then allows us to move forward with the divorce once the ninety-day waiting period is up. I don’t think we’ll have any problems proving fault since we have photos and a police officer’s testimony of your husband’s abuse. If it’s okay with you.”
My hands start to tremble and I feel sick to my stomach. This is the reason that so many women stay quiet. The fear of speaking out and it falling on deaf ears. If I go before the judge and tell him everything, what if he deems it’s not enough and lets him out? Sure, the judge refused bail, which makes me want to believe the courts will rule in my favor, but even Nate said that was the luck of us drawing a judge who was on a mission. What if I have one who doesn’t feel that way for the divorce? Without the conviction, Kevin could contest the divorce and use this as another way of controlling me.
“Do you mean they still might not believe me? They might think I’m lying about the abuse and not convict him? Even when there are witnesses and everything?”
Sydney puts her pen down and places her hand on mine. “Ellie, it doesn’t matter if the case doesn’t go as planned. We know what happened, and I believe you. You’re not alone. You didn’t do anything wrong, and no matter what, I’ll help you get out of this as quickly as possible.”
“I don’t want him to hurt us again.”
“I know, and I’m going to do everything I can to prevent it.”
I push out a deep breath and drop my chin to my chest, saying, “I should’ve done this years ago.”
“You’re strong to do it at all. I want to say I’m sorry.” She squeezes my hand. “You’ve lived here a long time, and none of us ever reached out. I always assumed you didn’t want to be a part of the community.”
I shake my head as the feelings of loneliness resurface with a vengeance. “I wasn’t allowed to really be a part of things.”
“I see that now.”
“Plus, it’s hard to have friends when you’re covering bruises.”
Sydney pulls her hand back, and her shoulders slump. “I hope you know that you don’t have to cover anything anymore, Ellie. I’d really like to be your friend, if you’d like to be mine.”
A friend. It’s such a simple word and yet it’s something I haven’t had in so long, I don’t even know what it means. Still, Sydney is kind and offering me an olive branch that I never would’ve taken before. “I’d really like that.”
She smiles. “Good. Now, let’s go over the details and get our information ready so we can file the second we’re allowed to, okay?”
“Okay.”
I’m going to do everything I can to put this behind me, and this is step one.
* * *
“Mommy?” Hadley asks as we walk through the field to get to our home to get some clothes and things we need. It’s been a week of making it work, but that isn’t really possible anymore. We need more clothes and supplies if we’re going to keep staying with Connor.
“Yes?”
“Why did Daddy hit you?”
My hand tightens just a bit as the question catches me off guard. I’m not sure how to answer her. Hadley may be only seven, but she’s smart and sees things. She isn’t young and gullible.
This is a chance for me to help guide her into not making the same mistakes that I did. I want her to know that it’s not okay. No one should ever lay their hands on her, especially not in anger. I stayed too long, made too many excuses, but not anymore.
