Page 47 of Come Back for Me
This little girl will own my heart, regardless of whose blood runs in her veins.
She and I start walking and her posture rips at my soul. Her shoulders are slumped in defeat and the normal chatter I’ve come to know as her is gone. It’s as though we’re walking toward some horrible fate. I wish I could take it away from her, keep them both with me where I know they’re both safe. I refuse to take even an ounce of control away from her mother, though.
“Connor?” Hadley asks as we move through the field.
“Yeah?”
“What are you scared of?”
So many things come to mind, all of which revolve around people I love. “When I was little, I was terrified of storms. I was stuck up in that tree for a big one where the bolts were hitting the ground. It was so bad that even the cows were scared. I was so afraid that it took my older brothers coming to find me before I would leave.”
“What about now?” she asks.
Now, I’m afraid that she’s my daughter and I’m never going to deserve her. I’m scared she won’t be my daughter and the part of me that has this bit of hope will never recover from the loss of what was never mine to begin with. Mostly, I’m afraid I won’t be able to protect her or Ellie.
“Well, I don’t know. Mostly, I worry about the people I care about.”
“Like me?”
I nod with a grin. “You bet. We’re friends.”
“I’m scared of my dad.”
Bile churns in my stomach and guilt fills me. If I had known there was a possibility of her, I could’ve saved her from it all. We both slow down, and I put my hand on her shoulder. “Your dad can’t hurt you now,” I reassure her.
She looks away and then back to me. “He hurt my mom and was always yelling at us.”
This kid should’ve known a life with fairy tales, sunshine, and tea parties. Her father should’ve given her hope and been a man she looked up to. He robbed her of that, and I’d like to kill him for it.
I’ll do what I can to ease her worries. “I was up in the tree during that storm because my dad was angry a lot. He would yell and sometimes he’d hit my brothers and me.”
“But you’re so strong.”
“Now I am, but I wasn’t then. I remember being scared a lot when I was younger. It wasn’t until I grew up and went into the military that I finally realized I didn’t have to be scared anymore.”
I don’t want her to wait that long, but there is hope.
“I want to be a grown-up.”
I laugh. “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, Squirt.”
The house comes into view, and Hadley sighs. “When I’m a grown-up, I’ll get to do what I want and won’t have to go anywhere I don’t want to.”
The ignorance of youth. I sure as fuck don’t want to be in Sugarloaf or have to fix up the farm I never wanted to see again. Nor did I want to get out of the navy, but I had no choice. However, coming back here has given me something I never thought I’d get . . . a second chance.
Chapter Fifteen
Ellie
“She’s all tucked in and fast asleep,” I say as I make my way into the living room where Connor is sitting making a list of something.
He looks up and smiles. “Good. She’s probably exhausted.”
We all are. At both Hadley and Connor’s insistence, I decided to stay another night here. Ultimately, I made the decision to stay because Connor and I have a lot we need to talk about. My want for Hadley to feel comfortable, even if it means this conversation will be anything but for me, was another reason.
“Yeah . . . do you think that we could talk?”
He puts the paper down and nods. “I think that’s probably a good idea.”
