Page 38 of Come Back for Me
My heartbeat accelerates, and I shake so hard I worry I’ll knock my teeth out. I assumed that beating his wife would mean he wouldn’t be let go. Where will I go? Where will Hadley and I hide from him?
“Ellie?” Connor steps in front of me, moving me back a few steps. “Ellie, calm down.”
My chest hurts, but I can’t get a grip. I see his eyes as he moved toward me and feel the way my body couldn’t recover from Kevin’s kick. I live it right here, as though it’s all happening again.
I push Connor off me, my hands raised as I move to run.
I need to get Hadley and get the hell out of here. I was so stupid. I should’ve run before this.
“Ellie, listen to me . . .” Connor says with his hands in the air, moving slowly. “Right now, we have to go in there and tell the judge why he can’t be released, okay? If you don’t do that, then we have a whole other plan. He willnotget near you or Hadley. Do you hear me? He won’t even be able to take a step in your direction. I will be right beside you.”
He doesn’t understand that I can’t do this. “I have to leave.”
“If you leave, he walks,” Nate says with an intensity in his voice I’ve never heard. “I know you’re freaking out right now, but I’m going to ask for an outrageously high cash bail, which means he can’t be released unless he has the money in hand or someone willing to pay it for him.”
I laugh and shake my head. “You don’t get it. I don’t know what funds he has, Nate. I have no access to our accounts. I have no idea if there’s some bank account, ready to send it over if they allow it. I was given a stipend to buy groceries and that’s all of the money I ever saw. He could have millions and I wouldn’t know it. He’s mentioned the farm making profits the last few years. He got an inheritance on top of the farmlands. I have noidea! I don’t even know what he has!”
The admission of my life makes me feel sick, but there it is, a truth that I can’t pretend isn’t there. Kevin could have money flowing out of his ass, and I wouldn’t have a clue. He could write them a check today and be back at the house, and then what?
Nate makes a noise through his teeth. “Ellie, he would have to have that cash on him.”
“He can’t wire it or get his hands on it?” Connor steps in.
“No, but that’s not to say he can’t have someone post bail.”
I can’t stay in this town if he knows I’m leaving him. He’ll hunt me down and that’ll be the end.
It doesn’t matter what kind of protection that Connor thinks he can provide by being around us.
“You can’t control the outcome.” Connor gently cups my cheeks, forcing me to look at him. His green eyes are filled with understanding and promise. “You can only do this one step at a time. Hadley is safe. She’s in school, and the deputy there is watching over her. Right now, you have to go on the stand and explain why he can’t be released. If you don’t and you run instead, you’ll be running forever, Ellie. Trust me, it will never end until you face it. You can do this for yourself and for Hadley.”
I try to steady my breath and focus on him. He’s right. I have to do it. I need to stand up for myself and for Hadley. She’s what matters and I need to show why doing what I did was necessary.
“Okay,” I say with a shaky voice.
Nate steps closer. “I’ll do everything I can to get us the outcome we want.”
“Thank you.” I shake my head, willing away the tears, and walk into the courthouse with Connor and Nate on each side, praying I can do this.
* * *
I sit in revulsion as I listen to Sheriff Mendoza and then Connor take the stand, each recounting the events of that night in their own words. It sounds like a horror movie, only it’s all real. It’s my life. I’m the girl they describe as battered, lying on the floor when they got there.
Nate takes his time to show the judge how bad it was, and they repeat the statements they heard. He then lays out a brief account of what I said outside about Kevin’s control and then explains that we don’t know how much money he has available.
Connor sits beside me, not touching me, but . . . there.
“Please call the plaintiff to the stand.”
“He can’t hurt you, Ellie, just be strong and tell the truth,” Connor’s deep voice is at my ear.
I swallow the dread and focus my eyes forward. Nate is standing there, so I look to him. He’s been intense and unyielding today. The worry I had about him being Kevin’s friend is gone. Today, he’s championing me, and the defense was unable to poke holes in Sheriff Mendoza or Connor’s accounts.
I’m the last one.
I pray to God I don’t get sick or lose it.
When I get to the stand, I recite what the bailiff asks me to and then sit.
