Page 9 of Infinite
No one has anything new to explain.
All we know is that he’s gone. Vanished.
There is some footage of him outside a parking garage, but the person who took him was smart and knew how to avoid cameras, which has left Jackson a bear to be around.
He’s concerned, which means Catherine is concerned, and neither of them are making things any freaking better.
“Erin is fine. She’s doing great with her grandma, it’s you I’m worried about.”
“Well,” I huff over the word, “you shouldn’t be. I’m just fine too.”
“You’re fine?”
“Yup.” I lie.
Cat sits beside me on the bed. “Good. I’m glad you are.” Her voice is filled with relief. “Here I was, worried because you lost the baby and Quinn and then you had to have major surgery . . . but you’re fine, so I can go back to not worrying.”
I roll my eyes at her theatrics. “You can go home too.”
“But you’re fine. Why would I leave? We should probably talk about the weather or something else that is completely worthless . . . since you’re so fine.”
My breathing is heavy as my frustration rises. “I’d like to sleep now.”
“Sleep is for the not fine. Sleep is for those who want to avoid the major life changes that are plaguing them, which is definitely not you.”
She’s seriously pissing me off. “Catherine,” I say through gritted teeth. “Stop. I know what you’re doing, and I don’t want any part of it.”
“What am I doing?”
“You’re trying to get me pissed off enough to talk. I don’t want to talk. I want to find Quinn, okay? I want to know where my boyfriend is, if he’s hurt, if he’s alive, and that’s it.”
“And what about you?”
It’s a loaded question that is completely worthless. I’m safe and cared for, aside from being badgered by the well-meaning friends in my life. I have the use of all my faculties and there’s no big mystery as to what is going on in my life. I’m alive, even if I no longer have a heart.
“Right now, I don’t matter.”
Catherine shakes her head. “You matter to me.”
“And I appreciate that, but here are the facts. I lost my baby. I lost any chances of having a baby. I’m . . . I’m broken and the only thing that is keeping me together is being able to focus on finding Quinn. I can’t fucking think about what has happened to me, okay? I can’t! I can’t think about it, Catherine, because if I do . . .” I push down any tears that threaten to come. If they start, they will never stop.
I have to channel this anger and energy somewhere that isn’t on the fact that I had a hysterectomy. I can’t do it.
I need to worry about only Quinn.
That’s all.
“Okay. I won’t push you.”
“Thank you. Can you please let me sleep?”
She grabs the medicine off the nightstand and hands me the tea. “Here, take these, it’ll help with the pain.”
I want to throw them at her, tell her there’s nothing to help with the pain. There’s only anguish and heartache. If there were a pill that would turn back time to before all this happened, I would eat a handful.
“Sure,” I say. Arguing with her would be too much effort and I’d rather slip away to deal with the nightmares.
After I swallow it, she tucks me in and then curls up next to me.
