Page 61 of Infinite
“Not as pretty as you.”
Quinn walks our way, his eyes not moving from mine. I release a heavy breath and smile at Aara. “Do you think you could go inside and give Uncle Quinn and me a few minutes?”
She looks over to him and nods. “Don’t make her cry, Uncle Quinn! Princesses need to smile and Auntie Ashton is like Ariel and she’ll go back into the ocean.”
I fight back a smile, and he shakes his head. “Uncle Ben is the beast, Uncle Jackson is Prince Charming, and now I’m Prince Eric?”
She shrugs. “Princes are nice. Promise you’ll be nice and not make her cry?”
Quinn looks like he’s on edge, but he’ll never be anything but perfect to that little girl. “I promise not to make her cry. Go tellAthiarI said you need ice cream.”
“Really?” She beams.
“Yup, two scoops. Don’t let him skimp on the sprinkles either.”
Aarabelle grins with mischief and takes off.
The two of us stand here as I wring my hands and I try to think of what the hell to say. No matter what the words are, it’s about the intent. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“I didn’t know you were here when I started to walk, but I’m glad you are.”
He nods. “Why is that?”
Because I’m a fool and will do anything to get you back.
“Well, you came to me to say some things, and I wanted to respond.”
Quinn looks out at the ocean and then back to me. “Seems like we do better speaking when one of us flies across the country.”
“Or one of us realizes how stupid they were.”
21
Ashton
The tension in my body is almost as thick as what surrounds us. We’re both on unsteady ground, and as much as that scares me, I’m trying to embrace it. Hopefully, he knows that it’s me who is stupid, not him.
Quinn doesn’t seem to trust me, and I can’t blame him. I wait for him to meet my gaze, and when he does, I can see that he’s doing everything he can to keep himself calm. “Why are you really here?”
“When I lost our—daughter, it was devastating to me. I didn’t know who I was anymore because my entire life has been about this one thing. It’s who I am and who I thought I was meant to be. I made babies and then I couldn’t—and didn’t want to—make anymore for anyone else.”
“You said daughter,” Quinn points out.
I nod. “It was a girl.”
His jaw is tight, and he stares at me. “How? How could you keep it from me?”
“No,” I say quickly. “I didn’t know until today. There’s so much to say, but it was a girl, and I wasn’t ready to know that until now. You see, I felt so lost, Quinn. It was a loss of self, and I thought that if I could lose you, then it would be final. I would be able to create this new version of Ashton. One who didn’t hurt constantly. One who wasn’t always thinking about the baby that would never be. I couldn’t bring myself to know if it was a girl or a boy. I needed to move on. If I could simply erase my past, then I could have a future.”
“Then what the hell are you doing right now? Trying to let me know we’re done? I know that. I’m moving on the way I need to now.”
I shake my head and touch his arm, but he pulls back. “I’m telling you that I don’t want to erase my past. I don’t want to make a new anything, you’re what made me whole...I can’t breathe without you.”
He lifts the corner of his lips and huffs. “Ashton, I don’t know what this is, but there are only so many times I can delude myself into thinking we can work. Maybe you were right when you said we were destined to fail. I was so sure that I could change, but I’m still the same guy I always was.”
“No, you’re not. Look at what you’ve done for me.”
