Page 17 of Infinite
“He’s our first concern,” Jackson says quickly. “Make no mistake, we will go get him and we’ll do whatever we have to secure his safety.”
Mark jumps in. “We just have to also prepare for the fact that our enemy is also a friend.”
* * *
My apartment has become overcrowded in the last twenty-four hours. Men of all kinds of military or police occupations have come to give advice.
I stopped listening about thirty minutes ago when they were talking about the hostage and angles of gunfire. It’s too much for me.
I came into my bedroom, turned the television on, and have been ignoring it all since.
They plan, they unplan, they plan some more, and no one does shit. If I could walk faster, I would’ve already gone and rescued him.
A soft knock raps on the door and then it opens. Charlie, Mark’s wife, gives a soft smile. “May I come in?”
“Do you promise not to feed me bullshit?”
She chuckles once. “I don’t even know how to.”
That is why I like her. “Come in then.”
“How are you doing?”
I watch her, wondering how much she wants me to say. The polite thing would be something to make her feel like she tried and it’s appreciated. The thing is, Charlie doesn’t care about any of that. She’s in the trenches and deals with far worse than anything I could say.
“I’m miserable.”
She nods. “Sounds about right. I’m glad you didn’t tell me you were good. I would’ve laughed at you.”
At least I read that right. “Anything new?”
Charlie moves toward the bed, pulling the chair over with her. “Yes and no. It’s definitely Aaron, which is the worst news for the guys, but I think it’s actually a good thing. No matter what Aaron’s state of mind is, those guys are the last people he’ll want to hurt. I’m trying to give them all the alternate sides of it so they’re informed.”
“You don’t seem nervous.”
“I’m not. I know Mark and Jackson, they won’t fail.”
I play with a string on my blanket. “We all have different definitions of failure.”
Charlie’s voice softens a bit. “Yes, and we all have crosses to bear from our decisions. They’re struggling with all of it and trying to make the best contingencies . . . while they pretend they’re not drowning in guilt and grief.”
“Because Aaron’s their friend?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “No, because you are. Mark looks at you and sees the situation as if it were me sitting in this room going out of my mind. Jackson sees Catherine. It’s a horrible thing to love someone and know that your choice is what caused their misery. I’m not saying this becauseyouhave any reason to feel bad, but there’s enough blame, emotions, sadness, and whatever else we can shovel onto this situation.”
This part confuses me. “What are they upset about?”
Her eyes narrow a little as she tilts her head. “You don’t see it?”
“See what?”
“They love you, Ashton. They are devastated by all you’ve been through and that the one thing they want—to get Quinn back for you—could come at a personal cost to them. You’re part of their family, and to see you struggle is beyond words for those guys.”
I didn’t think they were stressed because of me. “I love them too.”
“I know that, and so do they, which makes it that much harder for them. Mark was . . .” Charlie seems a million miles away for a second “He was a lot of things the day you lost the baby. He couldn’t find Quinn. He couldn’t get to you. He couldn’t get anything to work. I haven’t seen him that upset in a very long time.”
“You know, this is the first time anyone has talked to me about it without trying to make me feel better.” There’s no judgment between us. She’s okay with what I say and vice versa. Charlie is laying out the facts and also helping me see that this is hard on everyone. I knew it wasn’t easy, but I didn’t think about how it might be for them.
